My last neighbor story detailed Definitely-Not Megan and how she got evicted a couple of weeks ago. The first time I remember meeting Definitely-Not Megan was when she got into a yelling match with Mr. Toothless Mullet who lives in between my brother JC and myself.
It is kind of ironic that Mr. Toothless Mullet and the entire litter who lives in the townhouse are now being evicted. Although I detailed some aspects of their household before I will reiterate some things to bring the new readers up to speed.
When I first moved in only one person lived in the townhouse between JC and I. She is an older woman that I will call Grandma Toothless. Apparently she has lived in the unit for over 16 years which is a record considering everyone else stays for roughly 6 months before being evicted or just doing a midnight move out.
A funny thing kind of happened though after a month or two I noticed a guy coming in and out of the unit. He appeared somewhat younger but I just assumed it was one of the spring-fall sort of things. Turns out it was not, he was actually her grown adult son who had to move back in because he found the real world a little to difficult to adjust to. I know what you are thinking, that it is mind boggling how any adult in their late 30s or early 40s could stand living with their parent but he manages to do it in stride.
Apparently this family somewhere down their ancestral line had some Mexican in them because they just started multiplying. What started as one, became two, soon was an entire litter. A couple months after moving in Grandma Toothless, her adult son, her adult daughter, her daughter's boyfriend, and their two kids were now living in this townhouse.
The daughter, who I have referred to as Toothlessette, is kind of dumpy and missing most if not all of her teeth. Her boyfriend (or maybe husband I have no fucking idea nor do I really care) is Mr. Toothless Mullet. I call him that because he in fact does have a mullet and does not have very many if any teeth. This is the guy who spends all day drinking Natural Light or Mad Dog 20/20 and topping that off with a lot of weed.
He also loves riding around on a BMX bike which is not good when you are always fucked up, so he ends up wrecking all the time and more than once he has came home limping and wrapped in bandages. Their kids are weird too, they just stare at you and don't say anything. Probably too much dope was smoked while they were in the womb, who knows, but what I do know is they are fucking strange.
Alright there was a brief recap. Now I am sure you are wondering why the household is being evicted. See we all rent from a family that owns a local hardware store as well as half the town. Apparently prior to moving in with her mom, Toothlessette and Mr. Toothless Mullet rented a place from our landlord at a different location. Since neither one of them work but never hesitate to drink the day away they quickly found that they could not be pestered with silly things like staying up on their rent.
A funny thing happened, after not paying their rent for months they got evicted. I am sure this baffled them how one thing could be related to another, but suffice to say they cut out. I was speaking to one of the maintenance men one day and he saw that they had moved in with her mom. He told me that when they left their prior place they left it in the worst condition he has ever seen in the 10 years of working for our landlord. That says something considering all the deadbeats who have been in and out of these places in that 10 years time. People who get evicted usually leave a fuck storm behind but apparently the Toothless couple took the award for being the worst. Way to go!
Now I kind of wondered to myself, how in the fuck can you completely screw over a landlord, then just pile into another unit owned by the same people. It didn't make any sense to me so I just assumed that the landlord was cutting Grandma Toothless some slack due to how long she has rented from them. Turns out this was pretty far from the truth. The landlord rarely visits these units so they had no idea that all these people had piled into this apartment. Once the landlord was informed they brought down the hammer and gave them their eviction notice. After 16 years Grandma toothless has to pack up and leave because she was dumb enough to let her deadbeat daughter and their fucked up family move in. Serves them right. When you rent from someone else you are using their property, be smart and don't fuck them over otherwise don't bitch when you get caught.
Dumbasses.
No comments:
Post a Comment