So my neighbor on the opposite side as the toothless family has some extra chromosomes. I know this because she told me this when I moved in. She also talks with a lisp which makes everything she says rather humorous. her daughter is retarded. Not like hey she is dumb retarded, but like actually retarded.
Maybe people with extra chromosomes shouldn't have children. I am going to go out on a limb and say it is probably a bad idea. Where as my neighbor can somewhat function her daughter is a walking slobbering mess. I don't say this to be mean, more so I think at some point some people should not have children.
Watching my neighbors daughter slobbering all over the place is kind of like watching a fat guy at the food court fuck a burrito with his mouth (*wink wink), it is not pretty! I know this sounds cruel but I can't help that I lose my appetite seeing stuff like that.
Anyways my neighbor also is the queen of saying random shit that doesn't make any sense. I actually dread walking outside if I see her out there because I know I will be stuck in a conversation with her and her lisp for at least 20 minutes. One time I mentioned that I was going to rake the trash out of the little grass separation between our porches. Now anyone who knows me, knows that when I say I am going to do something I take my sweet ass time to do it. Well not on this one. For the next week every time I walked outside she bugged me about raking out the trash. She went so far as to leave her rake on my porch. There was no sense arguing with her, hell I was afraid she might sick her slobbering mess of a daughter at me if I didn't rake the trash so I did it!
One time there was a knock on my door. I decided to actually answer the door (something I rarely do since most people who knock on my door are door to door church peddlers). There is Extra Chromosome lady just standing there. Once the door was open she kind of looked to one side then the other almost expecting to be jumped at any minute. Her hair was as always wild and unkempt and she looked like something out of a David Lynch movie.
After a long awkward pause she volunteered "I can't believe I've been gone for 2 weeks!"
To which I said "um, okay?" You see I didn't even know she had been gone for 2 weeks. In fact I would say that I have rarely in my life given less a fuck about something than that she had been gone and was now back. I can't even remember where she said she had been, I just remember the surprise knock.
A couple of months later I was really drunk and outside talking to JC. Extra Chromosome lady came out and put her retard in her car but the door was left open. She walked around and got in her side and sat there for a bit. Finally she gets out and yells "I asked you to close the door!!! (But since she has a lisp it sounded like) I asked you to close the drawer!!!!"
"Umm, sorry...?" I have no idea why she asked me to close her daughter's car door, nor do I understand why she would get mad that I didn't. I just quietly muttered sorry and went back to drinking my beer.
No comments:
Post a Comment