Everyday since I have moved to this town on my way home from work I see a person I have dubbed the man-child walking down the street. The thing is I cannot for the life of me determine if this is a teenager or adult. It has bothered me so bad I want to pull over grab him by the throat and demand him to tell me "How goddamn old are you!!!!"
I first moved here during the winter so when I seen him he was wearing a high school letterman jacket. This made me assume he was walking home for school. He would also always wear a hat and had long shaggy hair underneath the cap. He is short and stout so I thought that might fall in line with some hick playing football. The problem was his face look wizened which confused me a bit but I just figured he had bad skin. I still had some questions though.
One day I was driving home and I saw him stopped on the sidewalk looking into the sky. I wondered what the man-child saw that caused him to stop and stare. What mysteries of the universe were you solving man-child. Please tell me your secrets, but alas I just kept driving and lost out on the chance to have the world explained to me.
As things heated up he lost the letterman jacket but always wore the hat. Then one day I drove past and saw him sitting in what I assumed was his front yard Indian style. He looked so free sitting there and playing with himself. So perhaps my mystery is solved. What kind of grown man sits Indian style?
Then one day after I had solved the mystery I was driving down the road and saw him without his hat on. He had a goddamn skirted eggshell.
This is a skirted eggshell incase you don't know.
Oh Fuck! I had to pullover. As I sat there catching my breath I realized I was back to square one. What kind of child has a skirted eggshell. Fuck!!!!!!!! I was quickly getting no where in my quest. Then for further conflicting evidence he still walked the same route during summer when school was not in..
Oh Man-Child he is,
Why Oh Why,
My every conclusion,
you must defy.
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