I did not get a chance to have a proper send off to my last blog entry. Honestly I could write an entire book on dumb shit I have done but have tried to zero in on things that do not make me out to be too bad. Certainly I have made dumb decisions that have had far more of a negative impact than getting a vitamin water bottle stuck on my junk, but the stories I chose were unique in that they were funny but harmless. I am going to continue that trend by adding a few more.
9. Quitting my job and then changing my mind 30 minutes later. One time about a year and a half working at my current company (I have 8 years with the company) I had grown quite frustrated dealing with customers. At the time my job was vastly different to what I do for the company now, and I had far more customer contact. One thing that is readily apparent dealing with customers is that they are very demanding when they pay money for a service. Sometimes these complaints are very legitimate, as when you pay money for something, it should work properly; however, there are those who want to complain about every minute thing that happens. If something flashes once for 5 seconds they act like it happens all the time. You get my point.
One day I remember pulling into a customers drive way. I was already pissed off but cannot even remember why. I just remember that when I pulled into the drive way for the appointment the customer must of been waiting and watching because they opened the door as soon as I pulled into the drive way. I sat there in my work truck for about 30 seconds staring at the customer just knowing in my mind they were going to be an asshole. So I just put my truck in reverse and pulled out of the drive way and drove off. I drove about five minutes away to a shopping center and got some lunch and planned out my next move.
Actually there was no next move. I pretty much realized right away I had made a dumb decision but had no idea what I was going to do. About 30 minutes later my phone went off and it was my dispatch. The customer had called in wondering what happened to me. I did what I do best, bullshitted my way through it. I told my dispatch that it wasn't me and maybe another tech was in the area and was just using the customers drive way to turn around. I ended up going back and completing the job. Nothing ever came of it lucky for me.
10. Drinking on a work night. About 9 months into my job I did something really stupid. After work I met one of my bro's at the time at a local bar for some drinks. At the time I still foolishly drank on work nights (I drank much more then than I do now). After a few drinks we ended up talking on the phone to one of our bro's who lived in Dayton (for those unfamiliar Dayton is about an hour and a half from Columbus). We decided to pile in my bro's car and head to Dayton. I am certain that if I had no been drinking I would of known this was a horrible idea but since I had already pounded back some drinks I thought it wasn't a bad idea.
An hour and a half later my bro and I are in Dayton. My Dayton bro had a girlfriend at the time who worked at a bar so we decided to head to that bar. Drinks were obviously discounted and plentiful and I am not sure how much we drank that night but I know it was a lot. Around closing time there was my two bro's, myself, my bro's girlfriend, another amazonian bartender we dubbed Titts McGillieCutter, and a trio of drunk dudes. One of the drunk dudes refused to leave the bar at closing time and things escalated into a small tussle. One of them got a choked a little but nothing major happened as we moved things outside.
Once things poured outside, rather than the trio fighting us like we hoped they got in a car and drove off while talking shit. Disappointed that yet again a fight eluded us, we did score a mini victory in that Titts McGillieCutter decided to come back to my bro's apartment with us. I had no interest in her, but my fellow bro from Columbus did. At the point we got back to the apartment it was about 3 am and we will still in the heart of Dayton. At the time I worked 10 am- 7 pm so I still had a good seven hours before I had to be at work. As my Cbus bro hit on Titts we agreed that I would get a couple hours of sleep and he would wake me up around 7 am and we would head out. So at this point I passed out.
I woke up and groggily scanned the room. My Cbus bro was layed out on the sofa in a dead sleep. I then panned over to a clock that let me know it 10:30 am. Holy fuck, it was a half hour past when I was supposed to be at work and I was an hour and a half away and still drunk as fuck. I got up and got my bearings then went outside the apartment and called my boss.
Now there is really no good reason for calling off work a half hour after you were supposed to be there so again I relied on my ability to be a bullshitter. I laid on the sick voice and meekly called my boss and apologized that I had woke up early in the morning sick and taken NyQuil and accidentally fell back asleep before I had a chance to call him. I am sure he bitched up a storm but what can you say to that. Another close call averted by my quick thinking. Years later I told him the truth once I knew it could no longer get me in trouble.
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