More Neighbor Bullshit

I have to say, the neighbors directly across the street are surprisingly good people. The house is occupied by a middle aged couple that have several children. Unique for this neighborhood, the parents seem to get along well and the children are well behaved. In fact I rarely even see them that often.

You fucking idiot. Seriously did you really believe the bullshit I just typed? Hell no, the people across the street are fucking retards (no not literal retards like the people who live beside me). The guy is some douchebag with shitty douchebag style tattoos with his shitty wannabe mullet hair style. He has a piece of shit motorcycle that he thinks is awesome (he also thinks no one has pissed all over the seat but he is wrong about that also!).

The woman (I honestly don't know if they are married, just dating, brother and sister, or probably all of the above) is rarely seen outside and when she is it is generally because the police have been called. I don't think I have ever seen her when she wasn't high as a kite.

I can't even figure out how many kids live in that house since about a dozen hang out on the porch from dawn till dusk. Seriously there whole daily activity consists of sitting on a porch. How fucking pathetic are you that your daily life consists of waking up and sitting on a lawn chair on a porch. I know that at least one long haired ugly looking kid resides there and I also know that the motorcycle douchebag is not his father. I know this because they have to explain that situation every time they call the police on one another which is at least once a week. 

During one rather hot summer day an interesting thing happened. The neighborhood kids were busy being fucking losers to the best of their ability. One of them decided to turn on some ghetto ass rap music (always funny when little hick white kids want to be ghetto) and then they decided to have an impromptu bump and grind dance number. This apparently deeply offended Not-Megan (remember her from the previous neighbor story) who happened to be shitfaced drunk (it was after all already 3 pm).

If you have ever seen an episode of Jerry Springer you can kind of imagine what it was like. In the middle of the street annihilated Not-Megan was screaming at the kids while her 1980s style perm was flapping in the wind. One of the kids got the "mother" (which I will call UnMegan). UnMegan went to the porch but seemed to be too damn high to comprehend what was happening. She kept her mouth shut as the yelling match between Not-Megan and the kids escalated to the point that a neighbor called the police. Of course the police took their sweet time as they probably dread having to come to my street. By time they finally arrive the kids across the street tell the cops Not-Megan lives at my apartment (which is way off but hey they are fucking retards) so the cops end up knocking on my door.

Nothing came of the cop call. The cops never really do anything in this neighborhood. You can beat the hell out of your kid while being drunk as fuck and they will just give you a warning if you don't mouth off to them. They probably don't want to be tied down with paper work so they can go back to some secluded area and rub one out. I know that's what I would do all day if I was a cop.