Well as I have said in previous posts the gym/fitness culture can be quite bizarre. Even the best gyms can attract some strange people. The men's locker room would be a field day for a psychologist. Well I am going to save everyone some time and do a psychological profile on some of the more common types of freaks you'll see in a gyms locker room.
1. Towel around the neck guy. Most gyms that have showers and most that have a shower provide towels for those members who wish to shower but did not bring one. Now towel usage should be common sense, but if it was I wouldn't be making this post. So for anyone who might be mentally impaired let me give you a run down of proper towel usage.
When you finish working out and desire a shower the first thing you should do is go over to the towel rack and grab a towel. Once in hand walk back over to your locker and begin stripping down. Once you're wearing nothing more than a smile you take that towel and wrap it around your waist and firmly secure it. Then you walk over to the shower area, hang the towel up and take a shower. Once that shower is done you grab your towel, re-wrap it around your waist and walk back to your locker. Take said towel off and then put your street clothes on. Sounds simple enough right?
Somewhere along the way though some people don't get this procedure. For some reason they feel like the best place for a towel when they are naked and strutting around the locker room is strung across their neck. When I am done working out I am pretty well beat up and tired and the last thing I need to see is some douche walking past me letting out a grunt with outstretched arms as their dick bounces around with every step.
A slight variation I have heard about is towel on the head in the sauna guy. Luckily my gym didn't have a sauna so I never experienced this but others have told me. The purpose of a towel in a sauna is to sit under your bare ass so you don't get ass sweat and fecal matter all over the bench. Simply draping the towel over your head does nothing to prevent that.
2. Sir Talks A-lot. See there are certain unwritten man rules. They are pretty much a standard. One of those rules is that when you are in a public bathroom and taking a piss in a urinal you never talk to some guy pissing beside you. Oddly enough this rule doesn't apply to cross stall talk when dropping a deuce (don't ask me). Maybe because when at a urinal you are facing the wall and feel vulnerable because you can't see behind you. It is almost as if the guy next to you starts talking to you next thing you know he will walk up behind you and gently massage your shoulders and finish the conversation speaking into your ear.... *shudders*.
So you get the message, you never ever talk to someone while taking a piss in a urinal beside them. Sir Talks A-Lot tops that though. He bypasses that rule altogether and goes straight to the unholy of sins. Talking to another man in a locker room while naked but drying off. You see I prefer if I am changing in the gym and you are talking to me at least be in the process of changing yourself. BUT when you are stark naked aside from the towel you are using to dry off your balls please don't face towards me and have a nice chat. Somehow I don't feel comfortable talking to you when you are stroking your dick.
3. Retard Let Loose in Locker Room- This is an oldie but goodie. You see every so often your gym might attract a mentally retarded person. Its not that uncommon as the special olympics always hold powerlifting competitions. It's actually amazing seeing a girl that cannot even walk under her own accord but still do a competition legal squat (kind of sad hearing grown men say that can't squat because some bum knee compared to that!).
But that doesn't always mean it is smooth sailing. Sorry but it is disorienting to be naked and hear some tard spouting off some weird shit. It gets worse though. You see sometimes you are unlucky enough to be in a locker room when the full retard strips off his clothes and suddenly forgets that he is supposed to put his clothes back. Then as a sort of cherry on top, said retard's dick bounces around enough for him to get sexually aroused. Now you have a full on drooling retard running around the locker room naked as fuck not even with a chub but with a full on boner.
Any normal person would grow really unsettled by this turn of events, but what to do. Your first instinct is to rush through changing as fast as you can and make a bee line for the door. This sounds good in theory but in practice this is disastrous. You see I am convinced retards have this sixth sense to know when you are uncomfortable around them. They don't recognize this, because they are retarded, but in their subconscious underneath thoughts of fucking a hole in a tree, they just know. And when they know they go. if you are not feeling okay they will seek you out and become your best friend. This is obviously a no-no when they are having a fit running around with a boner. The best thing to do is slowly but steadily finish what you are doing and ask some normal beside you if they are okay, the tard's sixth sense will go off and he will go towards the normie thinking he is uncomfortable allowing you a chance to escape.
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