Some Random Thoughts

I have noticed that as I grow older I have become more discerning in life. I used to be able to write about any and everything but lately when I sit down to write I quickly lose interest. Often times after the first paragraph or two I grow so bored with what I am writing that I just erase it. Sometimes I start writing about another topic and sometimes I just give up all together and play some stupid game online like bubble shooter.

Other times I write and erase and write and erase and so on up to a dozen times before I finally churn out something I am half way interested in writing. That is the thing, if I am not even kept interested while writing the piece how the hell is anyone going to keep interest while reading it? That is one reason that many writers bore me, I honestly feel like if they had to sit down and read their own shit they would probably fall asleep.

Sometimes I read things I wrote from ten years ago and think wow, did I use to suffer from down syndrome or some shit? Some of the things I used to write just seems so awful by the standards I now hold. I wonder in ten years will I look back to this blog and be appalled like I am now by what I used to write? Who the fuck knows. I don't even care to be honest.

I sometimes think it is easier for me to write when I am in a shitty mood. That never used to be a problem because I was generally a pretty miserable person in the past. In the last year I experienced this crazy thing called finding someone who makes you happy and since then I seem to have a bit of melancholy when it comes to writing. Hell is melancholy even the correct word to use? I don't know, I am not even sure I know what the fucking word means. I am pretty sure I heard it in a Barenaked Ladies song and that was enough to justify using it in a sentence.

I have churned out a few entries this week if for no other reason than I am sick and being cranky. This gives me an outlet to rant. Before I ranted about having shitty neighbors, but hell in my new neighborhood I am probably the worst motherfucker on the block and I am not even that bad anymore. This is that boring ass suburban street that is quiet, beautiful, and just plain ordinary.

I am pretty sure my neighbor beside me hates his wife and kids. I got that impression because he spends every chance he can outside working on whatever the fuck excuse of a job he can come up with. At first dawn he is out the door and doesn't go back inside until well after sunset. He spent all summer building a tree house for his kids but I am pretty sure he only built it so he could look in my back window and watch me get undressed.

My neighbor on the other side looks like some boring book worm fuck-face. He is a dick to his small boy and seems like a bossy prick. He probably masturbates a lot and I am sure he thinks about me sometimes when he does. I am positive all my neighbors fantasize about me because I am just that much of a fucking man.

So that's the rundown. Nothing worth a damn to even talk about. I don't even party anymore otherwise I could be the shitty neighbor that I used to write about. But alas I am fairly boring now. I work and train and that is it. Sometimes I write and other times I play a few games but most of my life is spent training or thinking about training or researching training methods. It has consumed almost all my life.

I did train tonight by the way. It was tough between being sick and all the crap I am taking to mask the fucking symptoms of being sick. I didn't feel weak, actually the weights felt very light, but I didn't feel like I had any "horsepower." Everything felt slow and like I had no get up and go to me. I didn't feel that explosive strength I usually feel when I am training. Today's training was a lighter day so it kind of worked out but tomorrow is max effort squat/deadlift training so it will be interesting to see how that plays out.

I hope to feel better by tomorrow but even if I don't I will just reach down into the special place and pull out some spectacular shit. I don't like reaching down into that hidden reserve because you need to save that for special moments but I feel that this is one of those. The last thing I want to do is allow this sickness to over take me. I am going to fight back and give it all I have got and move some damn weights around.

Hopefully by this time tomorrow night Missy is not pealing me off the gym floor with a snow shovel. Hopefully I am still in one piece and Missy is taking advantage of me in ways that I cannot write about....