Nutrition

This article is about nutrition, a no non-sense guide to eating right. But honestly who give's a flying fuck. Barely anyone even reads this fucking shit any longer and the few people that do could give a shit less about training and nutrition. Hell who the fuck really does care besides weirdos like me.

I am a bit cranky because I am sick as hell and achy and a little high on cold medicine yet again. Not that it helps since I am coughing like crazy and my nose is rubbed raw from using paper towels instead of tissues to blow my nose. But I guess it is a small worthwhile trade off. Not really, I am just talking out of my ass again.

I am still going to do what I set out to do. If by some small glimmer of hope someone stumbles upon this blog and has some honest questions about nutrition maybe they might learn a thing or two. At the very least I hope they learn to never fall for any of the bullshit gimmicks that people on the internet and talks shows promote on a daily basis.

If you get nothing else from this entry please above all us let this one lesson sink into your thick skull, don't fall for any diet gimmicks. It is absolutely a crime what these no good fucks do on a regular basis. Want to know how to separate the good diets from the bad diets, I will tell you point blank how to tell the difference. If it says ****Blank***** diet then it is full of shit. Yes you read that write, anything that has to come up with some name and follow it up with diet is a full of shit scam.

Lets throw some names out there, Paleo, Zone, Atkins, South Beach, Mediterranean, Gluten-free, or the newest one Viking diet. This is just a tiny list of gimmicky diets people are bombarding fat people with every day. While some of them may have a few merits to them they are all a bunch of shit.

Look at bodybuilders, the people who make it their livelihood to have extremely low levels of bodyfat, you want to know something interesting about their diets? They are all different. Some of them do carb cycling, some do low carb, some eat higher carbs, and everything  in between.

So how can people use vastly different dieting methods to achieve the same results? Because at the end of the day it really doesn't matter that much.

It is not rocket science, we all know what are good healthy foods. I know some people would have you believe that you have to live off of raw beef, natural milk, and cow's blood but the truth is that it is far from that complicated. Lean meats, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and some dairy. Honestly how many people do you know that are fat that make chicken breast and broccoli a mainstay of their diet?

Of course you don't  have to always stick to the above list. I eat potatoes, white rice, and other "no-no's" quite a bit. Some would tell you that you should only have brown rice and that white rice is basically like mainlining sugar. Seriously fuck off already, are you trying to tell me a bowl of rice is the same as eating a bowl of gummi bears. Don't be retarded. It is not white rice that is making people fat, it is eating huge portions of white rice smothered in deep fried chicken with a sweet sauce that is making people fat.

If you eat more calories than you burn you will gain weight. Most people need to gain weight. Any man under 200 lbs. is a woman. Get big and strong and stop being a pussy. Don't be a lard ass though so eat clean and good for the most part with some slip ups here and there.

If you need to lose weight do the same thing as to gain weight just eat a little less. If you want a doughnut eat a fucking doughnut. Hell eat 5 of the fucking things. Just don't eat them that often. Say I am great on my diet for 6 straight days, eating clean food and losing weight. I get a craving on day 7 and go out to get A doughnut. As I get to the doughnut shop I have a moment of weakness and get a dozen. As I am driving home I tell myself just to eat two or three at the most. Someone else will want the rest. I worked hard so I can afford to have two or three.

Once I get home I get a small plate and load it down with two doughnuts. I quickly tear through them and then wash them down with a big glass of milk. I stare at the box for a moment like some stand off at high noon before I cave in and grab 4 more. I whack them out faster than a mob hit and down another big glass of milk.

Depending on the kind of doughnuts and the kind of milk I am looking at anywhere from 2000 calories or MORE. One moment of weakness and I just consumed about a days worth of calories for most normal people in one setting and it was mostly junk calories. High in sugars and fats, which are a  bad combination.

Guess what? Big deal. Don't get depressed and disgusted with yourself and give up in frustration. For one thing do you think your body only looks at calories on a daily basis? Hell no it doesn't. So what if you eat one bad day so long as the other 6 days you have ate a calorie deficit that was greater than the calorie surplus from your day of cheating.

Hell even if your overall calories for the week were in a surplus because of your day of cheating it is still not that big a deal so long as you make up for it for the next week. ---

My balls keep falling out of my boxer shorts. It actually hurt a bit when I repositioned myself on the sofa and my balls scrapped against the sofa cushion. It has a rather rough texture and kind of hurt. Missy gave me a hard time saying that my balls were touching places where company sits but I don't really see the problem. My balls are clean, if a bit long, so in the immortal words of Hank, "it's not that big a deal."

Speaking of which what kind of person fighting for the person they supposedly love so much would sound so much like a damn insurance salesman? Not that it matters much now but it was really telling to me at the time. If you try to take someone I love from me you better believe you will elicit a much greater reaction from me. I think deep down the person knew things were over but just couldn't bring himself to "lose." ---

Nutrition really is simple. If you want to gain weight eat more and you want to lose weight eat less. Make better choices daily, swap out regular bread for 100% Whole Wheat bread, or better yet just reduce your overall intake of breads. Switch ground beef for a 90/10 or better ground beef. Eat chicken/turkey bratwurst instead of high fat pork bratwurst. Drink 1% or skim milk and avoid the cookies and ice cream. I mean have them sometimes but very very little. These are just very basic guidelines but I could go on and on. It is not really that hard to make these small changes and honestly I love eating healthy once I learned how to do it in a sane fashion.

In closing I love Missy and want to touch her in her "no-no" spot. Wish me luck!!!