Dumbass Things Continued

6. Cheating at a drinking game. I used to be notorious for getting people to play a drinking card game called High Low Red or Black. Basically you have a card flipped over and you can guess whether the next card will be higher or lower or alternatively you can guess whether the next card will be a red or black suite. You must answer three in a row to switch to the next players turn. If you miss you have to take as many drinks as cards on the table. In theory if enough correct answers are given you might end up with a stack of 20 cards before someone misses and has to take 20 drinks.

As you can see this game has the potential to get people really fucked up quickly. We generally play with beer and one drink is equal to a mouthful basically. I remember one time back long before we were ever neighbors JC came over and we played the game. I am pretty good with card tricks so I can generally get away with fibbing the deck so to speak. Especially after a few rounds of High-low once the beer starts kicking in. Suffice to say I cheated like hell and within 2 hours of arrival JC was head rocked back passed the fuck out drunk.

Well one time this seriously back fired on me. A couple of months back JC and I were getting hammered with some vodka drinks and decided to play some high low with vodka drinks. We really started to get tore up with those. Well after a few rounds of those our friend Kenny showed up with a pony keg of beer. Now you might remember Kenny from before from when he backed into our neighbors car, twice. Anyways this was before that incident.

Kenny is a pretty bad drunk. Doesn't  take a whole hell of a lot to get him there either. So  we decided to get him started right and made him jump right into the high-low game. Not only did he have to start drinking right off the back with a drinking game but he also had to have both a glass of beer and a vodka drink. Jc and I made the vodka drink and put 6 shots of vodka in it. Probably not the best idea but we were hammered and thought it was funny.

Well you can get the idea of what happened. Within about 2 hours Kenny was passed the fuck out drunker than a fiddler. I was hammered too at this point and stumbled in my family room where kenny's daughter was sleeping on a sofa under a blanket. In my drunken stupor I grabbed the blanket off her and laid down on another sofa.

I am not sure how much time passed but I don't think it was very much before I was being woken up. Apparently Kenny woke up at some point and realized he had to throw up. He made it all the way up the stairs but could not manage to open up the bathroom door so went in my bedroom and threw up all over our bed. Lovely. I stumbled upstairs and by this point I had to piss so fucking bad it wasn't even funny. Kenny by this point had managed to get in the bathroom and was still puking over the toilet. So in my drunken haze I went into the cat's bed room (yes my cats have their own room) and pissed in the litter box. Believe me that was interesting cleaning it out the next day. When I come back downstairs Kenny is passed out face down ass up with his pants down around his ankles, oh yeah his daughter was standing right there haha.

I decided right then that the days of playing high-low were over.

Searching

It is no secret that the movie Excalibur is one of my favorite movies. I am reminded of a scene late in the movie, the night before Arthur must do battle with his son. He approaches a Stonehenge like formation and speaks aloud to Merlin who had long ago been locked in a cave by Morgana.

  

This is actually from earlier in the movie but you get the point. He says roughly  "More than I ever did I need you now." 

I am no King. I am not meant to be the stuff of future memories. I am just a man but I have my own Merlin. Whether that Merlin is a person, inner voice in my head, or whatever doesn't matter. What matters is that there is a guiding force in my life. When it is not there, even if just for a half a day I am completely lost.

Another List of Dumbass Things I Have Done

I know I said I would finish my bad driving exploits entry first but since this is my blog I will do what I want and right now I feel like making another list of dumbass things I have done in recent history.

1. The way I dressed Wednesday. With Subfreezing temperatures, snow, and a bitterly cold windshield I decided to make a point that day. I wanted to prove that my mental will was stronger than anything else. I would not get cold because I would not allow myself to feel cold. I had so much on my mind that I didn't even have time to feel cold.

So I went to work wearing a pair of jeans, socks, my boots, a short sleeve shirt, and a zip up hoodie. No thermals, no gloves, no hat, just the absolute bare essentials. Hell I didn't even bring a lunch with me, I didn't have time to be bothered with my personal comfort. Besides it was nothing that my mind couldn't beat out of me. Much as the immortal Dalton said in the movie Roadhouse, "Pain doesn't hurt."

 

I left my house and saw the breath vapors exit my mouth. The howling wind bitterly struck my face with a stinging bite. My hands felt cold then numb almost right away. Not that i registered any of this. I shut out all feelings of discomfort and wasn't going to be deterred.

So by about noon I sat there at a cable amplifier freezing to death, hungrier than fuck, wondering why in the fuck did I think this was a good idea. I couldn't feel my fingers, nose, or ears, and my stomach felt like it was trying to eat its way out of my body. Yet again one of my bizarro ideas that only makes sense in my own head bite me on the ass. I survived but I tend to think it was just barely.

2. About 3 years ago or so roughly, I can't remember but it may have been longer, I was driving around in my work truck and decided to make a stop at a local walmart. Once inside I realized I had to take a piss so I made my way to the bathroom. The urinals were occupied but there was one open stall so I walked in and started to do my business. All of a sudden a strong coughing fit overcame me in the middle of missing and my whole body violently jerks as I start coughing quite heavily. 

This had the adverse reaction of causing me to spray piss all over the piss including under the stall door and right over to the guys feet in the stall beside me. I then heard a loud "Hey!!!!!!!!!!!!!" from said guy as he realized the guy beside him was pissing under the stall door and upon his shoes. At this point I did the old two flip switch and got the fuck out of there. Since I was in a work uniform I decided my best course of action was to get the fuck out of dodge before the guy in the stall beside me found out the company I worked for and made a nice little complaint. Since I never got called into my supervisors office to discuss the incident I have to assume he never found out that information. Me 1 Guy in stall beside me 0 His shoes -1

3. Giving my cousin the phone number of a girl I liked. This was back in the old high school days when you really didn't know your ass from your elbow, especially when it came to the opposite sex. There was a girl I worked with at the time who I liked for no other reason than I liked the way she looked. This had to be it because I can't recall ever really talking to her. Shit like that always works out so well right?

Well my social skills have never been my strongest suit and much less so then. After a few awkward at best attempts we agreed on something resembling a date. I had her phone and she had mine and we talked on the phone a few times. The time of the date came around and of course she made up some bullshit reason to avoid it. I pretty much saw it for what it was and decided my best course of action was to back off the situation. 

She had a lot of sisters. I am not sure why but I am pretty sure it numbered in the low teens. My cousin who had a pretty notorious history of making prank phone calls asked me if he could have the girls number so that he might be able to talk to one of her sisters (my cousin had previously worked at the same store so we knew a lot of similar people). I am not sure why I thought this was an okay idea, but sure enough I gave him her number. 

Later that night I sat in my room and didn't really think much of anything when my phone rang. I answered it wondering who would greet me on the other end. Turns out it was that girls dad and he was fucking furious. Apparently someone called claiming to be me and threatened to rape and murder his wife and daughter. Apparently his daughter didn't believe it was me but a whole back and forth exchange went on that ended up dragging in another employee. 

Now here is the story my cousin "claimed" happened. He said he called our other cousin (who has spent most his adult life in prison if it tells you anything) and then on 3 way they called the girl. The agreement was that cousin number 2 would pretend to be and talk to the girl and hit on her. Cousin 1 claimed that as soon as she got on the phone cousin 2 just went off threatening to murder and rape her, or maybe rape and murder her, one of the two, this is kind of one of those things that the order of events does seem to matter. Anyways, she doesn't believe it is me since that would be somewhat out of character for me. Her mom gets on the phone and cousin 2 proceeds to say even worse things to her. At some point the phone gets hung up.

The dad wanted to play mr. dad and gets on the phone and star 69s it back to cousin 1's place (well his parents). My cousin 1 not wanting to get in trouble pretends to be another guy we work with who is in competition  with me over his daughter. This story at this point becomes shady (I am trying to remember events that happened half my life ago). But that is the story my cousin told me. I tend to think he knew damn well the whole time what cousin 2 was going to do. 

Anyways the next day I go to work and guess who the fuck is there talking to my assistant manager, the girl's obscenely obese dad. I still remember the look on his pudgy face as he talked to the Ass Man (for short). I sincerely hoped I wouldn't be dragged over to the conversation but sure enough I ended up having to talk to the Ass Man and her dad. I was still unsure of what all had transpired so I was probably tripping over my words trying to explain what did or did not happen. I know it ended with the other guy I work with dropping the dime on my cousin and my Ass Man telling me to give her dad my cousin's phone number. I said with a straight face "I don't have the number on hand but will call you with it as soon as I get home." His reply was "good I will be waiting." I wonder if his fatass is still fucking waiting. Did he really think I would sellout my cousin? Even though said cousin screwed me over again. 

4. Listening to my cousin... ever. So at some point in my life I was dating a girl who's parents had a lot of money. People with a lot of money collect things. Her dad had a collection of liquor. That was a foreign concept to me as the drunkasses in my family drank things faster than they could acquire them. One of the things in his collection was a 20 year old bottle of jack daniels. Seeing as he had it for 20 years I thought obviously he is not going to drink it so I helped myself to the bottle. 

This started an Odysseus of wild night of drinking. At some point after downing most of the bottle I made it to my cousins on the northside of town. His cousin lived across the hall from him and we three decided to go to the bar. So first we went to a strip club but since we were all broke and didn't want to tip (not to mention only 20 years old) we hung by the back  hoping the dancers wouldn't ask for tips. Considering we were the only three people in the fucking place pretty much guaranteed they were still going to ask for tips. So we cut out of there and head over to a country bar.

This was again uneventful aside from my cousin walking over to two women and telling them his cousin and I thought that they were prostitutes and wanted to know how much it would cost to party that night. Now clearly they were not prostitutes and my cousin was just fucking with us. Anyways we cut out from there and my cousin decides to drive over to his mom's apartment as he had stashed some money over there hiding it from his wife. Sitting in the car I had to piss really bad so I asked his cousin which apartment was his mom's. He told me and i walked through the door and went to the bathroom. Then as I left I was hungry so I opened the fridge and grabbed a Bahama mama. As I was walking out eating it I didn't notice his mom's little dog and accidentally stepped on it. The dog let out a blood curdling scream. Not even like I stepped on it but more like I was murdering it. I walked out of the apartment quickly and back to my car. 

My cousin was in the car which I thought was odd that I didn't pass him on the way in. As I got in his cousin and him started laughing hysterically. Turns out that his cousin lied and the apartment number he gave me wasn't my cousin's moms apartment. Turns out it wasn't anyone's apartment they knew. Apparently I walked into some strangers apartment, used their bathroom, ate their food, then kicked their dog on the way out.

5. More from the same night. Is it breaking and entering if the door is unlocked? I don't know. Is eating someone's food theft? Still not sure. What I do know is that what happened later that night is most definitely criminal. After leaving his mom's apartment complex we went to some night club. Though this night club seemed to be something out of the twilight zone. It mostly consisted of very overweight women wearing very tight clothes. I never seen such a concentration of fatties before. 

Oh and to top things off a lesbian band was playing and the thing about lesbian bands are that they attract a lot of lesbians. This means trying to score some action was akin to playing russian roulette but it didn't stop my cousin. He started talking to two real fat chicks and next thing his cousin and I notice he is fucking gone. We thought he left us there so we went to a pay phone and called his apartment.

Not a good idea. His rather pissed off wife answered and no he was not there and she was furious. We tried covering for him as best as one can after drinking for most the day and night which means probably not well. Our cousin surfaced a couple hours later with those fat chicks being a few lines of coke short I imagine. 

The next couple hours were a blur of drinking and fighting and all those things that make living fun. My next recollection we three are at an all nite breakfast diner. We are scarfing down big plates of food at 4 in the morning. Being as I was crushed and didn't know better I blurted out rather loudly "how are we going to pay for this we are all broke" to which my cousin looked visibly annoyed (he was much less drunk because he had been snorting coke all night). I got my answer soon though.

His cousin went to the bathroom and my cousin motioned for me to get up. We walk straight out the door. A waitress tried to stop us but my cousin said our friend was in the bathroom and going to pick up the tab. he then got my keys and pulled my car around. I saw his cousin come barreling out the door being followed by a couple of cooks. He dives in my car and we take off. The old dine and dash. 

My Driving Ability

No this won't be a post extolling the grand exploits of my master stunt driving skills. Anyone who has ever rode in a car with me would call bullshit right away. In the interest of full disclosure I must admit two truths right now, one my balls and taint really itch right now, and two I am a horrible driver. Though I feel that my balls and taint are perhaps one of if not the most important of topics to cover, I am going to save them for a later date and describe my (lack of) driving abilities.

I think we can go all the way back to the day I took my test to get my driver's license to give a good example of why I probably shouldn't be on the road. I barely passed the test, as in if one more point got knocked off I would of failed. The best part was though that after the test was over and I was driving back to the test location I blew a stop sign with an oncoming car barreling towards me and the testing instructor nearly had a heart attack. She wanted to fail me on the spot but technically the test had ended so there was nothing she could do.

This was just the start to many many driving adventures. My first car was an 86 Park Avenue. The car was a piece of shit and broke down constantly but it did not help that it had a madman for an owner. Within an hour of getting the car I nearly rear ended someone. By nearly I mean I locked up the brakes and had to swerve off the road and into a field to miss the car. About a month later in a gas station I took a turn two wide and side swiped a car denting the entire side of the person's car. This person happened to be my mom by the way. I still remember the look of disappointment on her face.

Over the next year I hit two walls, yes walls, backing into them. I ran over multiple curbs and ran an old lady on a bicycle off the road (it was an accident). Since that was over 10 years ago I will admit I didn't stop and kept driving. Hopefully she didn't break a hip. Almost a year after getting my license I rear ended some woman absolutely smashing the front of my car. I forget how much damage it caused my vehicle but it was a substantial amount.

My next car was a 92 tornado. I don't recall any major accidents in that car but I do remember driving home from a girlfriends a bit drunk and woke up as my head hit the roof of my car as I had driven over a curb through a mailbox and into someones front lawn. Luckily I was able to steer the car back onto the street before I took out half the house. About a week later my transmission went out. Also wondered if one had something to do with the other.

I think you get the point by now. The other day my bro said "I notice that your answer to any driving problem you encounter is to mash on the gas." That seems to be the case. Alright I will finish this tomorrow lol there is so many incidents I am skipping over it would be a travesty not to include them. If you are reading this re-read it again tomorrow there will be a lot more.

Sad Man Behind Blue Eyes

So am I resorting to ripping of lyrics from the Who? I guess maybe. Sometimes when you listen to a song the lyrics can speak out to you in a way other forms of writing cannot. This kind of makes sense as songs are essentially poetry set to music. The National Anthem began life as a poem that was eventually put to music.

So why in fact did I chose the song Behind Blue Eyes for the title to this blog entry? I have heard multiple interpretations to the lyrics of the song ranging from it is about a pedophile, to being about a cop, or even being about Pete Townsend and his drug use. I don't really care what some self indulged drugged out rocker meant behind the words though. For me, I take things and apply them as I see fit.

I find more and more that very few people know the true me. This is not without reason since I put on a front or act to nearly everyone around me. Behind my calm but laughing and jovial demeanor hides a lonely and tragic figure who cannot relate to most of the world around him. I don't feel a sense of closeness to most people that others feel.

That is not to say that I do not care about about those around me. If anything I care quite a bit, but even those I care about the most I feel intensely uncomfortable being around them for any length of time. I cannot even pick up the phone and call someone I have been friends with for years without feeling a great sense of anxiety. Even around my own family I feel like an outsider looking in.

Have you ever heard of the story of Atlas? He was a titan of Greek mythology who supported the spheres of the heavens upon his back. That is the way I often feel like, that the weight of the world rests upon my shoulders. It does not make any sense really since I am not a world leader or person of great importance but all the same I feel that stress in my day to day life.

 

I am not crazy nor am I suicidal. I took this picture the other night and it would appear I was either one or the other but I am neither. I am not even sure why I took the picture. I had an extremely stressful weekend filled with so many ups and downs I could fill an entire book. By the time Sunday evening rolled around I was exhausted and had no where left to go but inward. I didn't like what I found there so I searched outward for a means of feeling pain so that I might remember what it felt like to be alive. But I am not one for self inflicting pain so I settled on taking a lame photograph of myself holding an unloaded gun to my head with a semi-crazy look on my face. 

The other day the person I consider closest to me, in every way possible, told me there was something tragic in my eyes. Behind all the laughing and joking there was a look of pain. I tried down playing it at the time but this person seems knows me better than that and saw right through my attempts. 

Certainly the fact that I cannot grow a good mustache does weight heavily upon my mind in this picture but there are far greater implications. Since the person said this, I have looked at this picture often to try and see what they had seen.

I posted a video today on my facebook profile from the 2009 movie Doubt with Meryl Streep. No I am not turning homosexual, I just happened to run across the ending of the movie on youtube and thought it conveyed my own beliefs. I have doubt, such doubts that I will ever be able to be truly happy in life. There are moments in life I begin to feel like I am getting closer to finding a sense of happiness I hear about so often in movies and on television but then it seems like bad news rears its ugly head. Something waiting in the wings to tear it down before it can even grow. In the end I just put on my sunglasses and pretend like nothing bothers me, an indestructible rock devoid of emotions, while inside another piece of me dies. 

What's worse is that I am afraid that I will push away the one person who does understand me. I want to warn them not to go searching further because they will not like what they find. 

With that out of the way and off my chest I will go back to the Jason Act and being the laughing funny person everyone expects. 

---Edited Feb. 2012--- I have for some time debated about whether or not to delete this entry. I have mixed emotions about the post. This was written during one of the most difficult periods of my life. My former marriage had long since crumbled but we were still inhabiting the same apartment. It made for one of the most miserable periods of my life. My ex wife had turned into a very bad alcoholic that was also prone to violence. She had alienated all of her friends and most of her family due to her drunken rages. I was receiving the worst of the lot and had a couple years ago just decided to shut off my emotions completely. 

I had for 2 years or better wandered through life in a daze like a zombie. It was a defense mechanism to deal with a major depression that had set in. I was not happy from the beginning and things just got progressively worse. I did not think there was much chance of any happiness in life and I really just accepted having a miserable life. I think this had a lot to do with my up bringing as I do not think my father was ever really happy in life and I know that my parents marriage strung along for years in unhappiness just for my sake growing up. In hindsight this did me no favors as dealing with a divorce as a child is tough but what kind of harm is dealt seeing a loveless marriage and thinking that is normal. It left a big black mark on my life that followed me into adult hood. 

Then I met someone who changed everything I ever thought about life. I saw things in a completely different light. It is funny how you just don't realize how unhappy you are until someone gives you a reason to be happy. The problem was that we had so many outside our control factors that would work to keep us for being together. When I wrote this entry it was the weekend of my birthday and it just reinforced how helpless I felt. A big part of me wanted to just give up on life and sell off what I owned and just lead the life of a wandering nomad, a ronin with no master. 

That picture of me holding a gun to my head is very controversial to myself. I think it gives the wrong impression that I was suicidal but that was not the case at all. The gun was not loaded and I gave no thoughts to ending my life. Rather it was some sort of expression of how I felt that my life was so far out of my own control at the time. Some people might use that picture against me saying that it shows I am unstable or any number of things. While they have that right it is a distortion of the purpose behind the picture. If that is the best fire power you have against me than that says something about your argument.

Training Updates

Training has been slow the past couple of weeks. Been mixing in more and more boxing/fight training to supplement the lifting which has trailed off considerably. I find it hard to eat lately and even harder to just keep on track. Seems like lately I went from total tunnel vision when I train to my mind wondering to all sorts of things. I know why this is the case and I am fighting hard to counter act it, but I am not sure it is a fight I can win at the moment. So I just grit my teeth and bear with it.

Some Mysteries Revealed

So I found out some answers to some long standing questions I had.

I found out the answer to the riddle of the man-child. It turns out that the reason why I always see him walking around with a backpack is because he does that for fitness reasons. He fills the backpack up with "weight" and walks around town every day. I have actually noticed that in the time since I have moved here he has dropped a good deal of weight so good for him.

No I take that back. He looks like a damn rapist and chances are if you look like a rapist you probably are. I am sure he just walks around looking for his next victim then hits them over the head with one of those weights and drags them into an alley. Sick fuck.

Next is the mystery of what happened to the black lady who moved into the end unit. JC found out from Megan across the street that while Megan was in jail for crashing into a parked car inbetween taking shots of jack daniels our neighbor was in there as well. Apparently she got arrested almost immediately upon moving in and has been sitting in jail since then. Question? How the fuck is her rent being paid. I miss one paycheck and there is a problem getting rent on time but somehow she can be in jail and still not get evicted. Beats the fuck out of me. Do black people have something hardwired in their DNA on how to work over the system? Wait most my neighbors are white and live off the governments tit. Maybe it is just that I lack said DNA so I just have to do that wild and crazy thing called work hard for my money. Oh well.

Training Log Update

Well I completed my 14 week training cycle. Everything went more or less according to plan  despite some initial set backs as far as the squat goes. Never significantly injured my back deadlifting so that is a good sign. I am going to spend the next couple of weeks doing "off season" training then jump back into another training cycle. Since I have already peaked out I have decided to reintroduce some fight training. I will probably still do some during the next training cycle since the next one will probably be more bodybuilding oriented than powerlifting oriented as I really want to drop some weight. That was my goal during the last cycle but as the strength shot up I kind of lost sight of that and just went for as much strength as possible.

Some yesterday I did some boxing training. Later I am going to try to get in some MMA/Wrestling training. Try to split my time between the two. I haven't trained grappling in a long time and want to get back on the mat. Tomorrow I will go over the modifications to my training as far as weight training goes that I make when doing "off season" training.

Long Overdue Updates

Haven't posted on the blog for some time. No real reason why. Most of my neighbors have moved out or are in jail (more on that later). I was on call for a week meaning I had little free time, and I have just plain lost motivation to write on the blog (long story that I am not going to tell you about). Going to kick start things a bit with a few posts tonight.

I finally finished Chapter 5 of my story. It was  struggle but I plowed through it. Thankfully I will be able to go back over it when I am finished and tidy it up because it is really raw and rambling. Still though it contained a pretty big revelation (that was originally going to happen much later in the story but I decided to move up) hence one reason why I struggled in writing it. I hard time conveying in words just how big of a deal it was. I still think I fell short somewhat and who knows when I am done I may end up taking it out and putting it farther back in the story. Nothing is set in stone.

Clarification on "It's Complicated"

It seems that the ambiguity of my previous entry entitled "It's Complicated" has led to many people making assumptions on just what I meant by that post. Much like the mysterious suitcase in the movie Pulp Fiction, there have been many wild guesses as to what question was asked of me and what my answer was.  It is comical the range of guesses that have been leveled my way on the subject in the past day.

Let me let any readers of this blog in on a deep dark secret. Yes, unlike the movie Pulp Fiction, I am going to reveal the secret nature behind the entry. There was no question nor was their any answer. Remember the whole point of a macguffin is that it is irrelevant to what is trying to be told.

One movie I have always been fond of is the movie The Prophecy. I found the unique take on Angels that coincides much closer to their depiction in the bible rather than what we are presented with in popular culture to be quite interesting. One particular scene early in the movie has a detective encountering a mysterious man in his apartment. The mystery man is actually an Angel but the Detective (formerly a seminary student studying to be a priest before having visions of angels locked in a vicious war) is unaware of this at the time. The Angel, named Simon (portrayed by Eric Stolz), asks the Detective, "Do you believe you are part of God's plan?" To which the Detective responds "That's a complicated Question". Simon then replies, "No it isn't".

So yes I basically based the entry off an obscure movie scene reference. I found it to be an interesting exchange that often pops in my head. As I skimmed through facebook I noticed someone on my friends list in the matter of only a couple hours relationship status went from "In a relationship" to "It's Complicated" and back again several times. I think this back and forth lasted no less than 5 turnabouts before settling on It's Complicated. I found this quite ironic and only guessed that the person and their significant other were going through some kind of squabble and the person was using their facebook profile to fuel the fire.

Does that mean the entry is insignificant? Not at all. There were certainly aspects that related back to my current life but so far it has complete defied any ones attempts to dissect it. This is understandable though as I flipped back and forth several times throughout the entry. I purposely left things very vague to keep people guessing just what the hell I meant. Add in that I was not even sure where I was going with it. I only had a vague idea of what I was talking about when I began it.

Is my life a Shakespearean tragedy? I certainly hope not, because quite frankly many of his plays did not end on a particularly high note. That does not mean I was just pulling words out of my ass, as certainly I could draw many parallels but probably not in the way most of you would guess. One secret I will reveal, there is only one person who knows just what the fuck half the shit I say really even means, besides myself.

I find a certain amusement drawing people in and then confusing them by back tracking on what I say. Who knows maybe there really was a question and an answer. Maybe the movie the Prophecy never even entered into my head when I wrote the blog and only later used that movie quote to justify the post. Maybe it is not meant for you to know.

In life not everything has a simple answer. The whole story does not always make sense at the end. This is no after school tv special. Next time you read an entry and wonder if I meant something behind the post, chances are I did. Chances are though you are wrong about what I meant. I only really explain myself to one person. Why is that? I have a strong urge for at least one person to understand me. For everyone else I'd just like for you to read on...

I have some more funny stories on the horizon, so don't worry if you are tired of all the self reflection.

Halloween and Lack of Ads

This are going to be brief.

Last weekend, in Columbus, during trick or treat night somebody robbed a kid at gun point for their bag of candy... seriously. Didn't even ask for money, just the candy.

You'll notice there are not more ads on my blog. No I didn't have some moral conflict with making some small change for the ads people would click. In fact I was up to about 35 dollars over the past month which didn't seem too bad considering I never really expected to make any money off of it.

Well if it is too good to be true it probably is. This was the case in this example. I was kicked off the google adsense program for fraudulent activity. Apparently if someone from one IP clicks on more than one ad they assume you are using people to drive up your clicked ads total. Truth is they probably just look for any excuse not to pay you. I did some google searches on the program and it seems many many people report a similar issue of being kicked off the program once they started to make some money.

Oh yeah the blog post I made threatening to murder bunnies if people didn't click on my ads probably didn't help. Either way it was fun while it lasted but I never entertained any delusions of actually making money off the program.

It's Complicated

Somebody asked me a question recently and all I could reply is that "it's complicated." That may have been a bit of an understatement though. It's so complicated that it could be the plot of an interesting movie. However, when people ask you a question they general want to either A. hear a simple one word answer B. hear some juicy gossip. Since I am not one to gossip (funny stories about neighbors aside) I selected A. and gave a simple one word answer. "It's complicated."

What was the question that was asked of me? It doesn't matter. The point of this is not the question or the real answer, the point was the response I gave. Much like the suitcase in the movie Ronin, knowing the true content was nonessential to the story being told. In the movie and story business they call this the "macguffin".

Wikipedia describes a macguffin as-- A MacGuffin (sometimes McGuffin or maguffin) is "a plot element that catches the viewers' attention or drives the plot of a work of fiction".^[1] The defining aspect of a MacGuffin is that the major players in the story are (at least initially) willing to do and sacrifice almost anything to obtain it, regardless of what the MacGuffin actually is. In fact, the specific nature of the MacGuffin may be ambiguous, undefined, generic, left open to interpretation or otherwise completely unimportant to the plot. Common examples are money, victory, glory, survival, a source of power, or a potential threat, or it may simply be something entirely unexplained.

So if the question and true answer does not matter than why does the response "it's complicated" matter. I think it is the concept what just what is complicated. I mean we throw the term it's complicated around all the time. On facebook it is a response for whether you are in a relationship. Someone asks you what your religious beliefs are and you might respond it's complicated. Someone asks you what your thoughts are on calculus and you might say "it's complicated."

But are any of these things really complicated? Let's go with my first example, your relationship status. Either you are in one or you are not. How do you know if you are in a relationship? I have a simple litmus test. Take the person you are closest too of the opposite sex (this could be your wife, girlfriend, room mate, or whatever)  and have sex with someone in front of them. If you cannot do this then you are in a relationship. If you can do this you are not in a relationship (or a swinger but that changes everything so forget for a moment those people exist).   I don't see how that is complicated. You might not like the person you are with or be in the process of splitting up, or whatever, but that does not mean you are not in a relationship.

I understand that in the real world people grow apart, one hurts another, or any of the other myriad of reasons people end up falling out with each other. This is not a knock on those who are in these situations as almost everyone has been there a time or two (and some many many times lol). If anything as I get older I have a much better understanding on the complexity of human relationships. The black and white statements people make from a moral high ground have no place in a rational mind. If anything it shows a lack of maturity to assume you can make a blanket statement that will cover every eventuality.

Now what about the other examples of things being complicated? Well again it is all relative to the situation. Let's take calculus for example, sure it might seem complicated if you barely passed algebra. On the other hand if you have went to college for engineering you might find calculus to be no more complicated than tying you shoes. Does it really matter. Maybe it does to someone cramming for a test in college but I really don't give a fuck about that.

Honestly I don't even know where the hell I am going with this post. I had a vague idea when I started but grew disinterested after while.

Oh yeah I remember now what the fuck I am on about. This post was about fat chicks playing hide and go seek. No, wait, it was not about fat chicks playing hide and go seek. I don't even know what the hell made me say that.

So if nothing is truly complicated than why did I answer "it's complicated" other than not wanting to talk about it? Well maybe because it is complicated. At its core it is actually rather simple but at the same time complicated enough to fill the plot of a Shakespearean play. I am contradicting myself left and right. So what? It is my blog and I can write whatever the hell I want to. No one can tell me different. I am my own person and always will be.

I write many funny and witty things but I can also be quite serene and thoughtful. Lately all I do is think about things. This is not a bad thing though. I find that I enjoy writing serious things more than I even do funny things. I suppose that the majority of people who read my blog enjoy reading the funny posts more than the serious ones. That is why I try to keep things with a lighter tone, but all the same it is the serious things I write that consume most of my thoughts.

I haven't been able to sleep much lately. Maybe a few hours here and there. When I do sleep I often wake up constantly. The remainder of the time I spend it in a daze trapped in my own mind. This is not me complaining, rather I am in perhaps the best mental state I have been in for as long as I can remember. I am in a great mood and absolutely nothing can break this.

---Edited--- The funny thing about this post was that a certain person latched on to this post thinking I was talking about his failed relationship with his long time girlfriend at the time. Their relationship was long over with by this point but he kept trying to string it along like a boxer past his prime trying to make a paycheck. He even wrote me an email entitled "The Complicated Relationship". The funniest part about all of that was I wasn't talking about his relationship with her, I was talking about my relationship with her. 

Execellent Party

I'd like to thank all my brothers for making the trek to attend my party last night. I had a hell of a time. Also Congratulations to our three new brothers who got made last night. Welcome to the family.

Updates have been a bit slow lately in preparation for the party. I am beginning my rotational on call week starting Monday evening so updates may be slow for the following week. The good news is that my mustang is now officially paid off. I have been paying on that car for 6 years now. It will be nice to have close to 400 additional dollars a month of disposable income.

Now that I made it through the party I can continue working on my book. Chapter five has been a bit slow as I slightly changed the direction the chapter went in on top of preparing for the party. With those things out of the way I should be done with chapter 5 tonight or tomorrow at the latest.

Bench Press training last night

Last night was my last training session before Saturday. JC and I training in the fortress of solitude (my basement) and decided to work up to a max single. Things went really well and I ended up setting a new personal record. I did miss the weight I had set for a goal for that day, but I did not feel bad. I kind of burnt myself out on the first max attempt. The second one I know that I easily had it in me, but as I raised the weight off my chest I stalled about 3 inches off my chest. Then the bar dipped about 1 inch (which would of disqualified the lift in a competition) and somehow I reversed it and brought the bar back up to about 5 inches off my chest but stalled out again. The amazing thing is I actually moved the bar from a dead stop and almost had it. Very hard to make a lift once the bar stops moving let alone dipping back down but through brute strength I got the bar  moving again. I think I just didn't stay tight enough as I brought the bar down. When you get to max weights very small things can be the difference between a good lift and a bad lift.

After benching I did a max single with close grip bench press and max single with incline presses. Nothing special here.

Then I finished up with dumbell bench presses.

Seriously People?

Alright, in a previous post I put up pictures of the "treasures" left behind by my former neighbors. I use that word very generously as they left behind a pile of shit. Seriously, two fucked up pieces of furniture and some bags of trash. Actually they added quite a bit of trash since the pictures I took. Imagine an area of roughly 20 feet by 10 feet filled about 4 feet high of trash bags. That is not an exaggeration either. They had enough trash in their house to fill up my living room. That is really sad as I have a fairly roomy living room. Baffles me how people can live like that. Maybe they were hoarders who knows.

Any ways it just wouldn't  be my neighborhood if something retarded didn't happen. Sure enough I was not disappointed. A day after they left I noticed two people standing outside one of my windows. Turns out it was extra chromosome lady and her adult son (who moved in a week ago). They were going through the trash bags and had a trash bag of their own shoving things inside. Yes, the trashy people I know's trash is my other neighbor's treasure. I snapped a shitty pic with a cell phone and it just wouldn't be me if I didn't post it up.

 

The son is on the left and the extra chromosome lady is on the right. You can barely make out the white trash bag in the son's left hand. I wonder what brilliant things they found. 

A day later I saw another women feverishly going through the trash pile. I am sure if I was home more I would of seen many more people going through the trash. Now don't get me wrong, if someone had a nice piece of furniture they did not want and put it out I could understand grabbing that. Hell my sofas are second hand from my sister. However at some point you have to draw a line, and that point for me is going through trash bags. Are you fucking kidding me? What the fuck could possibly be put inside a trash bag and left by a curb that would be worth losing any sense of dignity and pride. Congratulations my neighbors, you just wrote a new chapter in Suckology.

Chapter 5

Still working on Chapter 5. I decided to add in a significant addition that takes the story slightly away from the two main characters. As a result I had to shorten some of their role in the chapter (instead that moves to the next chapter) and began writing the addition. Been really hard to focus on writing the last couple of days. A lot on my mind. Good things of course but still on my mind.

Spelling and Grammar

I have to apologize for the poor standard of spelling and grammar throughout this blog. Well not so much spelling but the grammar aspect mostly. I usually type these entries out fairly quickly and hit send without even proof reading them. Big mistake. I just read through my last entry and saw how appalling it was. I made some quick edits to tidy it up a bit. Nothing too dramatic, as this is not an English class, but a few small small changes for things here and there to make the entry more readable. I am going to make a better effort to proof read my posts before hitting send. I am not going to be a grammar nazi, but at least to make sure I do not leave out entire words in a sentence.


Edit-- Funny thing is I went and hit send on this post missing several words in a sentence making it unreadable. Dumbass. 

Chapter 5 of my story

I am currently working on Chapter 5 of my story. I have been pretty busy the last couple of days so I have not had a lot of time to work on it. I really enjoy writing though and the words are coming fast and furious and I like what I have so far on Chapter 5. Like I said earlier, the first four chapters would be like the beginning of the movie before the credits begin. From here the story really branches out.

There is so many places they have yet to visit. So many characters, even main ones, they have yet to meet. Dynamics of the story change things dramatically. Mysteries deepen while new ones develop. Things have been quite action oriented, although a lot of character development has also happened in a short span. That is the way life goes though.

I have said multiple times that I have already fleshed the entire story out in my head, almost like it plays out in my head like a movie. This is true, but that is not to say that what is in my head is going to be the final product. Sure it will be the same basic story, but once you start writing things down you see things that might work that you didn't see before. You also see things that look great in your head but you can scarcely describe them in print without bogging the story down.

Here is a good example. In the second chapter the characters have an encounter with an old hermit. The thing is that he was never in my original story I had planned in my head. As I was typing the story I started describing people around the characters. There was an ex soldier, a deserter, for instance. I debated taking that aspect some where but simply left him as a background character. Since then I have fully fleshed out a back ground to that character. He will most likely play no further part in the story but I have an idea of where he has been and where he is going.

The old hermit began simply as a description of an old man walking towards the characters wearing dusty old rags for clothes. As I typed out his description in the story, I had no idea just why the hell he was approaching the characters. For a few minutes I debated on what his intentions were before I decided to take him in a direction that would have implications for the rest of the story. His character does not survive, but it added an entirely new dynamic to the story. Now there is an entire group of assassins running around, maybe. Or maybe it is some religious cult. Maybe one of the main characters is on the run from said cult. Maybe it is none of those things (Most likely but you'll have to read the story when it is finished to know for sure- and by that point I will have probably changed my mind anyways). I have a good idea but that is all, an idea that I know will go some where.

Will it affect the outcome of the story? Absolutely not. It is simply a nice little subplot. And the old hermit was not the only addition to the story. Just in the last chapter I used a real life injury of someone I know to afflict a character. In the story it is a minor foot note but it does play a critical role in showing character development, as the character makes a bold choice to help her companion rather than herself. To that point she had been antagonistic to the other character.

I knew at some point I had to switch from an antagonistic relationship to one of working closely together but I had no idea how I was going to do it. This was just an example of how I used something in the real world to push the story along in a minor way.

That is one thing I love about writing. I surprise myself. In the first 4 chapters there are at least two major encounters that were not in the original story. I find it helps to keep a story exciting, especially early on. That is why I write in blocks of 6-8 pages at a time. Keeps a quick pace to the story. While I love stories like Lord of the Rings I do not want to tie down endless pages upon pages of the characters walking around smoking pipes and eating cakes.

Also since I based one character largely on the traits of a real life person I know, I had to alter some of the other characters in minor ways. It fits better with the real life person and hence makes writing it that much easier. Now a major character, who simply served as an almost third dynamic to the main two characters relationship with one another, has changed dramatically to be a thorn in their sides. Well thorn might be a harsh word but rather his character was altered enough that he serves as more than a mere distraction to them. To fit in with this change I had to alter where the character came from in the setting.

Now he does not change though other than that. Still the same character with the same traits. Just changed his relationship to another one of the characters (where as before he had none) and where he was from. To accommodate this, I had to change where the characters meet him. In doing this I had to find another character to take his place where the characters were originally going to meet him. Again just a minor shuffle and no major impact on the story.

That is how things like this develop.

Training Tonight

Because my training became jumbled last week tonight's training session was a bit altered from normal. I actually liked the change as it gave me a chance to do some lifts I normally don't get a chance to do. Since I did heavy benching yesterday I did not start with the normal light bench pressing.

Instead I performed 3 sets of 10 reps of light close grip bench pressing. I performed these with a 3 second pause when the bar was at my chest. This placed the load on the triceps and served to warm them up for further training while sparing my shoulders.

I then went into doing skullcrushers with an ez curl bar. I did 4 sets of 10 reps ramping the weight up. Actually the last set I only got 6 reps but that was all I was shooting for with that weight.

Then I did tricep extensions with dumbells while lying on my back. I performed 4 sets of 10 reps, again ramping up in weight.

I then went on to tricep pressdowns performing 3 sets of 15 reps.

Then I moved on to bicep work. My first lift was "21s" with dumbells. These are done by performing 7 reps performing the bottom half of the curl, then 7 reps of the top half of the curl, then 7 reps of full range of motion curls. This really pumps a lot of blood into the biceps. We did 3 sets of these.

Then I peformed 3 sets of 12 reps of Hammer curls.

Then I did 4 sets of 10 reps of bent over dumbell rows to hit the lats, traps, and upper back all at once.

This was it. I think this lasted about an hour and a half and that was with my training partner and I keeping a quick pace. Now I am starving and thinking of something to eat. Hell to devour. Hungry as fuck.

Ted Strickland

I noticed the ad company who puts ads on my blog has thrown up a bunch of Ted Strickland ads. Let me say right now I could give a shit less about most politicians. I firmly believe the whole lot is corrupt to the core and have been selling us out for years. If our founding fathers would be transplanted to modern America and seen the corrupt bloated festering cesspool of the US Government they would go back and just give up. Seriously how in the fuck can anyone justify what is said in the constitution and the bill of rights with what this American system has become. It is not any parties blame, they have both allowed or encouraged this to happen.

That being said, I do sometimes make a choice between the lesser of two evils. For instance if you put me in a room with a murderer and a child molester, the child molester will lose out every time. Politics is pretty much the same way. While I am no fan of either party I will support the conservative candidate anytime over the liberal. Why? Because at least the conservative will pretend to uphold some sense of American Ideology. The liberals have no problem pushing a socialist agenda completely in opposition to the core values of this country.

So whatever you do, do not click on any goddamn ads featuring that Ted Strickland. In fact if you are reading this make sure to place your vote in anyone but Ted Strickland. That is how much I do not support them using my blog to promote his bullshit agenda. Hell I would rather you write in Mickey Mouse than that lame fuck.

I know some people in my family are hard core democrats. For years we have constantly heard the bullshit drivel they are for the working people. If you really believe any politician is for the working people you need to educate yourself on where this country started and what it has become. Every time you vote a democrat into office the federal government becomes even more bloated and disgusting.

Lawn Care

Haha. Sorry I had to laugh at this entry as it is an inside joke. But yes it is in fact about lawn care. In you travel back through time to right around 2001 I was 21 years old on the verge of 22. It was summer time and I was going to college for engineering part time and also on unemployment at the time because the whole sale lumber yard I was working at closed down its Columbus location. This actually came as quite a surprise as they had assured us for months and months that they would not be closing the location down.

Like any corporate business they didn't really give a shit about telling us the truth and just fed us a bunch of bullshit to keep us from looking for another job before they ripped ours out from under us. Since I was going to school at the time this was a rather big deal since I was paying for whatever my loans did not cover. I was a bit pissed off so when I got laid off I decided I was not going to make a priority of finding a job quickly. This was good in a way, I was 21 years old, it was summer time, and going to school for a few hours then getting paid to look for jobs at all the local pubs and bars was a great time.

I remember one time I had a calculus test at 6 PM. I met one of my bro's down at the VIP lounge at 4 PM. It was happy hour and drafts of beer were a dollar a piece. I had 10 dollars in my pocket when I started drinking and when I stopped I had no dollars. I then made a bee line to campus, and strolled into my class at the nick of time to start the test. As I sat there looking at the test I felt the strongest urge in my life of having to piss. Nothing like trying to take a test while having a beer piss trying to squeeze out. So I did the only thing I knew how to do, I burned through the test, finished it in 15 minutes, turned it in, then had one of the greatest pisses of all time.

I beat out everyone else by 45 minutes. Yes I am dead serious the next person to finish the test was 45 minutes after me. Now this really doesn't mean shit because you can finish a test in 1 minute and just miss every fucking question. But here is the kicker, not only did I get the highest score in the class, i got the highest score by such a large margin I threw the curve wildly off. This Professor had never taught calculus before and he really was not that good at it so he always had to grade on a curve because otherwise 3/4 of the class would fail. I was not going to school with retards so obviously he was failing somewhere. But yes I threw off the curve by ending up out scoring the rest of the class by 20 points. Am I bragging now? Maybe I am, but then again it is also the truth. There is a difference between being cocky and confident. I am often self depreciating and humble so why not occasionally also point out when I do something really well.

So that was the environment I was living in at the time. Going to a couple hours of classes a day then getting drunk and living it up the rest of the time. The problem with this is that living the life of a man of leisure can be quite expensive and unemployment does not go that far. So what I really needed was some kind of under the table job to supplement my unemployment benefits.

At around this same time I had a good friend I had grown up with that was playing semi-pro football but broke his ankle during a game. This sidelined him from his job as a waiter. He had a younger brother who was also unemployed. Into this mix we somehow put our alcohol infused brains together and came up with a brilliant plan. We were going to start our own lawn care business.

Our first order of business was we bought some used piece of shit lawn mower from a garage sale. We also procured a broom and borrowed a weed whacker. From this humble beginnings we decided to score a few jobs around our neighborhoods and use the money made to buy better equipment. So we fanned out through the neighborhood to find customers. After about an hour of going door to door we found a guy who paid us 45 dollars to mow his lawn 3 times over the next three weeks. If we did a good job he would extend it. Sweet our first customer. Rejoicing we went down to the bar and drank all 45 dollars away in a breeze.

Seriously we stopped after finding one sucker to pay us and then blew through the money like it wasn't even there. Since we spent all the guys money within an hour of receiving it we now how to at least make sure we took care of him as we couldn't afford to refund his money. So a day later the three of us show up at his place to get started.

So there is my buddies younger brother mowing his back yard. About half way through doing this rather smallish yard the mower makes a funny sound and then bing the spark plug shoots out of the mower with such force it actually dents the guys aluminum siding. This was enough of a dampener that we gave up. We left the poor guys back yard half mowed and his siding damaged. We wrote out a note and left it on his door that we had technical difficulties and would return. Well a week later we had still not returned. My buddy and his bro went on vacation and he gave me 20 dollars to do that job myself.

Fast forward a week and I had still not done  the guys yard. I drove past it and it was god awful. Half his yard was so high it looked like a damn jungle. So my buddy was coming back and I really did not feel like mowing this guys yard, especially since I didn't even have a mower. I could of borrowed one but that required just a bit too much effort for me to accomplish.

Then I get a call from a bro down in Texas saying that some European film crew was shooting a documentary down there about a group I was with at the time. So I told him why the hell not, I will jump on a greyhound and go down there and be in the film. So right before I left I went to my buddy's and left a envelope on his porch saying "I ain't mowing that fucking yard, here's your fucking money- sorry" and shoved a 10 dollar bill in there.

By time I got back into town it had been 3 or 4 weeks at this point and all we had down was mowed half the guys yard one time. We ended up rounding up 45 dollars and gave the guy his money back and apologized to him. He was actually cool about it surprisingly. That ended our lawn care business.

Who knows maybe we will revive it one day.

Bench Press Training

Okay so my training this week was all screwed up due to various factors. I ended up doing my heavy bench press day that is normally done on Wednesday, today on Saturday. I have been sick going on two weeks now. It started the Monday before this past Monday and is still going on. Right now it is a lingering intense cough. Really driving me crazy. I know I am still not 100%, not even close. But I am nearing the end of this current training cycle and no way I am letting it get in my way.

So this week is the week to drop the 2 working sets done to one working set, but just on the regular bench press. Close grip and incline bench presses are still done 2 sets of 2 reps.

So today on the regular bench press I performed 1 working set of 3 reps. This makes it basically a 3 rep max. I set a 3 rep pr meaning today I did the most weight I have ever done while performing three reps. This is of course being done while sick and not 100% so I was quite happy with it. The last rep I barely got. The bar went up to within about 5 inches of locking it out and was completely stuck. it did not move for what seemed like an eternity but in reality was probably 5 seconds (which is an enormous amount of time when lifting very heavy weights for the bar to not be moving at all). Somehow, some way, I was able to deep down deep into some hidden reserve and next thing you know the bar started moving again and locked out. This was a huge deal. I have rarely if ever seen a bar come to a complete stop and sit there unmoving for several agonizing seconds and then moving and locking out again. Most of the time the bar will start to sink back down after several seconds. Especially with 5 or so inches left to lockout.

After this we went to close grip bench presses. I did 10 more pounds than last week and did the same 2 sets of 2 reps.

Then I went to inclines and did 1 set of 2 reps with 10 more pounds than last week. This set was very rough though I ended up having to lift my ass off the bench which took the stress of the target muscles. In a competition bench press (obviously not done on an incline) your butt has to remain in contact with the bench. Since this was so tough I decided on the next set to drop 20 pounds off the bar and do the 2nd set of 2 reps. This was obviously substantially easier than the 1st set but still felt heavy.

I finished up with 3 sets of 15 reps with dumbell bench presses. Nothing specially here. Had a lot more in me but so many damn things were swirling in my head I decided to call it a day. I try to not let personal things get in the way of my training but this was not bad things so I don't see it as a hindrance. This training session was already later than I normally have them and combine that with being sick and coughing up a lung you have a recipe for mediocrity. All the same I set a new personal best which is normally a huge deal. Haven't had a chance to even savor it yet. More interesting things on my mind I think. Wednesday I start in on going for max singles. That will be fun and when I really get a chance to see where I am at. Since I have smashed a few rep records lately I have no doubt I will beat my previous bench press max, the only question right now is by how much. Should be interesting. Maybe I can get a video of some of the lifts.

Bye Bye Neighbors

Well the mullet tribe moved away today. I saw them driving off while the guy's mullet flapped in the autumn wind. Sadly they actually had enough help that they were able to get everything that needed to loaded up in a timely fashion. I was unable to get any pictures of them during their move as I spent a good portion of the morning... well now that I think about it I didn't do much of anything this morning but I still didn't get any pictures.

But all was not lost. See they left behind "treasures". Treasures are things a renter leaves behind when they move. They are treasures because people often times leave behind some pretty cool things. I have a family member that owns 50 + rental units and you would be surprised how many new in the box things can be up for grabs after the tenant moves out.

So I decided since  I could not get any pictures of the family while they were moving I would be able to get pictures of the stuff they left behind, as they put everything in the front of the property. Keep in mind, all these items were inside the apartment before they moved out today. Without further adieu here we go...

As you can see they kindly left behind their porch furniture (the cinder block) a compaq computer monitor (I am pretty sure that used to be mine and I put it out to the trash several months back). A couple of random trash bags of items and some cardboard boxes.

Here we have some further treasures left on the other side of their porch. An electronic keyboard, cooler, some type of ottoman, a few full trash cans, and some boxes. The box front and center with fragile written on it is actually full of coat hangers.

Here is another angle of the previous picture. I guess I didn't need to tell you that the front and center box was full of coat hangers because they are clearly visible in this picture. Just what the fuck is with that piece of furniture. Is it some kind of white trash ottoman or was it a chair that had the back of it snapped off. I might end up using it as a toilet later tonight, not quite sure. I am sober tonight (drinking just isn't that fun for me anymore) so I probably won't. Not that I need alcohol to do wild things, but pissing on a piece of fur..... alright there is no chance I am going to piss on this. At first I thought it might sound funny if I said I would but then I realized it sounds pretty fucking retarded. The thing is one of the neighbors actually would do that. Of course it is in my front yard (however pathetic that yard is) so if someone does I promise you I will choke them out in that front yard and rub their nose in the piss.

This is a chair that left in the front yard. Yes this was actually inside their place up until this point. I mean I know that sometimes you don't have a lot of money and might have some hand me down furniture but this is down right disgusting. And what the fuck are the two slits in the front? Is that where they hide this marijuana cigarettes?

This is a close of said chair. You can get a better idea of how fucking dirty this piece of shit was. Seriously everyday on craigslist advertise furniture for free in better shape than this bullshit. This is fucking hideous. This is so bad I wouldn't just not fuck it, I wouldn't even rub one out on it. Godawful.

This is my mustang. It has nothing to do with the neighbors moving but I took the picture and decided to put it on here. It is my blog so I am allowed to do it.

These are two pictures of my back acne. No real reason to even post these here but likewise they were on my digital camera so I threw them up. Thank god that they didn't show my fattyness lol.

That Damn Song

I am sitting here just wishing that damn song would play on the radio. I have heard it several times before but do not know the name of the song. I do know that the first time I really listened to the song it struck me in a way that no other songs had.

There are many people who turn on the radio hoping to hear a particular song. They might have to sit through 10 songs to hear the one they want to hear, hell maybe even a 100. They don't really care. Even if it is not the song they want to hear they can still listen to it.

I am not like that. When I want to hear a particular song, only that song will do. Anything else is an annoyance and in my way of hearing it. Maybe it is the mild case of OCD I suffer from, or maybe it is because the damn song is that fucking good.

Now if I knew the name of the song, or maybe even better yet owned the fucking song, I wouldn't have to sit here thinking about wanting to hear it. I could relax and not wonder if I did something wrong to piss the song off and that is the reason the song isn't coming on the radio. Of course that is absurd (though no more absurd then anything else I write). The song can obviously not be playing all the time. Maybe some time soon I can figure out the name of it, and gasp even own it one day, until then I have to rely on the radio.

Now you have to ask yourself... is this post really about a song?

Today is Moving Day

So the toothless mullet tribe is moving out today. I am a bit giddy over this like a little child as I am thinking of the excellent pictures I can take of the move. The problem is though I have a lot of stuff to do today. I need to squeeze in a really tough training session, I need to con JC into driving out to my grandma's to get a new table (he has a truck I don't). I also need to finish the caulking around the bathtub. Add in trying to finish chapter 5 of my book and I have a semi busy off day. Nothing I cannot handle.

That's Impossible

Sometimes when you look at choices in life things can seem quite impossible. It's weird how we can sit there and analyze a decision and think "that will never work out" or "that will never happen." You might really want to take that path but the odds seem so stacked against it that you dismiss it as a pipe dream.

However if you were to go back in time to say 5 or 10 years ago would you guess you'd be where you are at in you life right now? I can guarantee that if 10 years ago someone approached me and said I would be where I am today that I would think that is impossible. The odds would be stacked against it too greatly. But I sit here typing this right now and am doing what I may have once thought as impossible.

This isn't just applicable to one area in life. Say a job for instance. I work with people who have been doing the same thing for the past 30 years. They hate it with a passion. They complain every day about what they are doing. Then I sit and wonder, did they ever have dreams of doing something that they'd love to do? Like for instance I love to write and would love nothing more than to make a living writing books. Does that mean I am going to quit my job and to write full time? Of course not. Does that mean I won't spend my free time writing in hopes of someday making that happen, of course I will. Even if it doesn't work out I would hate myself for not trying.

That goes for everything in life. No matter how much the odds might be against it, never dismiss it out right. How could you live with yourself if you didn't even try. The guilt of inaction will always be greater than dealing with trying and failing. Besides, you might just be surprised at how easy the impossible is to achieve.

---Edit--- This was written at what could best be described as a turning point in my life. At the time it seemed like what I wanted out of life could not possibly happen. I seriously cannot think of a situation that would seem more hopeless. But much as I wrote about in this entry, what seemed to be impossible did in fact happen. A year and a half later, the life that I dreamed about having I now have. Kind of amazing looking back but for once the bullshit words I was uttering were very true.

Training Log

Things have been a bit hectic the last couple days to say the least. I ended up having to put in some early morning work projects which has put a damper on my training schedule. Not a big deal, just means I have to sandwich some of my normal training I do during the week for on the weekend. I am tired as all get out right now, but at the same time I cannot sleep. I hope to get a decent nights rest tonight and will hit the weights hard tomorrow.

My diet has been all over the place. Haven't had much of appetite the last couple of days. It happens sometimes, no big deal.

Finished Chapter 4

Been busy for the past couple of days. Haven't slept much but I don't mind. Things are going well. I finished chapter 4 of my book tonight. Have a couple pages of Chapter 5 done. Things in the book have been contained to a fairly small setting but starting in chapter 5 the adventure is going to spread out to a pretty vast area. New main characters will be added along the way, although the focus of the story will remain the two main characters of the first 5 chapters.

Why we call him JC

Mr. Screen Your calls and then later swear he didn't aka JC aka Jean-Claude is known as Jean Claude because he shares a passing resemblance to the legendary gay porn star Jean Claude Van Damme (hey he is credited in the 1984 Movie Monaco Forever as "Gay Karate Man"-- seriously look it up).

So just how much does he look  like Jean Claude Van Damme, I will let you, my humble readers, decide. I am going to post a picture of Jean Claude Van Damme (above) and then a picture of JC (below) in the same pose that we took last night.

Tip for people with cell phones

As I am sitting here at work on a lunch break I want to remind people with cell phones of one thing.

If I call you and the phone rings one time and goes to voice mail I assume your phone is turned off or you are in a bad area for service.

If I call you and your phone rings four times and then goes to voice mail, I assume that you are asleep, away from your phone, or unable to answer at that time.

If say the phone rings twice then goes to voice mail, I assume you are just a fucking asshole. You picked your phone up, saw who was calling, and then you clicked no when it asked you if you wanted to answer it. 2 rings then voice mail means you screened my damn call you douche! See if you were so busy that you could not answer the phone you would not bother looking down at the screen and hitting the no button. But you took the time to check and make sure it was not someone you actually wanted to talk to, then denied it. Yes I know what you are doing and I think you suck because of it.

Remember if you can hit no on the first ring you are okay, but after that and before the normal 4 I know you screened me and now we have an issue. That issue will obviously not cause us any further problems because I am not a butt hurt little bitch about things, but just know that when you see the screen and hit no, know that I know. Know that I know that you know that I know. Know that I know that you know that I know that you know that I know. Wait that doesn't make any sense, knows cannot go on forever. They're not an infinite time loop or the tellurium drive of a warp 3 polarity reverser (ha! You probably wonder what sci fi tv show that is from but I made it the fuck up! Tellurium is a real element though, a metal primarily used in alloys such as steel and copper- number 52 on the periodic table with an electron configuration of 4d¹⁰ 5s² 5p⁴  and a solid state density of 6.24 g·cm⁻³ ).

And no, nobody screened my call today. This rant is directed at no one in particular. Specifically not a friend of mine who might live two doors down. Definitely not anyone who shares a passing resemblance with Jean-Claude Van Damme.

But if it was directed at anyone, that person should be warned, I am watching you.

Funny incident at work

So today I had to ride along with another tech while my work truck was finally being repaired. I guess telling my boss that I had to drive home in the pouring rain with my windows down and my head sticking out of the window just to be able to see was enough to spur him into action.

As we worked through the day we ended up having a job at some ghetto ass apartments. A line was broken which meant we had to take down the service of three buildings to repair it.  This is always fun at ghetto ass apartments since people are always late on their damn bills they assume when the service goes out they are being disconnected. So anytime we take it down we will have several people come out wondering if we are cutting them off.

So today it was my turn to cut the service while the other tech made the repairs. So I opened the can and pulled some things viola service out. As I stood there waiting for the repairs to be done I started to hear some man in a nearby apartment start screaming at someone. The person then opened the door and stormed out. This was the greatest site I had seen in awhile. It was some pudgy white guy with long ass dreadlocked multi-colored hair. He looked like a great big ball of doucheness. He took one look at me then went back in.

I assume he wanted to storm outside and bitch out the people disconnecting his service. When he saw me standing their he lost his impetus and sheepishly went back in. Once back inside he started screaming again. He was yelling at his girlfriend/wife. He was screaming at the top of his lungs why she was such a dumb bitch to not pay the bill.

This most of went on for damn near five minutes he was belittling her. Apparently he spent enough time inside that he worked up the courage to come back outside. He again stormed out, took another look at me then went back inside demanding to use her cell phone. I am not sure if he was trying to call some back up or the police or what (people do some bizarre things). After another five minutes of yelling back and forth he came out a third time.

This time he did not storm out but rather sheepishly walked outside and in a calm mild mannered voice he asked if I worked for the utility company. I said that yes I did. He then politely asked me if we were disconnecting his service. I responded that no we were not we were making repairs to the service. He said how sorry he was that I must of heard him yelling inside. I told him it was okay (I was at work after all and couldn't tell him what I really thought- hell if it had not been a work setting there would of been no talking at all).

So damn funny how he lost all heart but could still yell at his whatever she was. Part of me felt bad for her for a second, then I realized anyone with a douchebag like that deserves what she gets.

Mullet Neighbors

As I got home today I saw that the toothless mullet family was still going strong in their resistance. Having talked with Non-Megan I finally found out that Saturday they are in fact planning on moving out. This is a week after they were supposed to be out.

Due to the lack of police presence I am guessing the landlords decided it was probably easier to just let them stay another week rather than forcibly eject them. Either that or maybe they are planning a middle of the night police raid complete with flash bang grenades and jack booted thugs storming the house. Though a part of me would be greatly amused by such a turn of events I doubt it will happen.

I did notice that they are packing their things to move. When I got home today I saw what I thought was their trash by the curb. As I approached closer I realized that had put their stuff in trash bags and were loading it in the family truckster. Normal people use plastic totes and cardboard boxes, toothless mullets use trash bags. Hell it was not even easy being able to tell the difference between their trash and their possessions. When you live like shit most of your stuff looks like trash.

Here is how I could tell the difference. No fucking empty natty light cans in the bags. Dead give away. There is no humanly way possible they could fill 4 trash bags with no one visible natty light can.

I am kind of sad about one thing. We had high winds yesterday but I was out working. I would of loved nothing more than to see the mullet flapping in the wind being so carefree.

Perhaps on Sunday I will buy a "double-deuce" of natty light and pour it out on the small strip of grass in front of their former place to honor their memory.

Chapter 3 is Done

I completed Chapter 3 of my book. Things are going better than I think they ever have before. I can't remember a time when I have been so excited while working on a story. I had the whole thing fleshed out in my head, but I find that as I am typing the words out it is coming to life in ways I had never imagined before. I find myself engrossed in my own story. I feel like as I am writing it I am also living it.

I feel the sense of amazement that the characters feel. Their doubts are my doubts while when they act decisively I am right there with them. A few times I have just typed out something off the top of my head and it fit it so perfectly. While the basic story was always there, a simply thing like starting to describe someone they see leads into an entire new avenue for the story to explore. I know exactly where I am going but the trip is definitely exciting.

There are still so many characters who have yet to surfaced. So many places it is going. Hell I had to remind myself that a full day has scarcely passed in the story.

Conceptual Drawings

I finally was able to upload my conceptual drawings with good enough quality that you can actually see the pictures. It will become readily apparent upon viewing them the amount of time and effort I put into each one. They each play a key role in formulating a visual aspect of the book I am writing. This will be a series of four pictures.

The first one is of Balimor who is one of the lead characters in the story.

I am glad the shading done in pencil on this picture was not lost when it was relined with a pen to better show up in the crappy lighting conditions the digital pictures were taken under.


The next picture is Neys the leading female character.

  

I feel I was a bit "uneven" drawing this picture but you still get the general concept.

Here is the main "big bad guy" character so to speak.

 

Not much to say other than he freaks me the hell out.

And here is a map of the Kingdom of Pelador with some surrounding areas of note. 

 

Beware of the southern region and areas to the northeast. 

Big weight off my shoulder getting these completed.