Me and My Persona's

The animated television show American Dad is about an unhinged CIA agent Stan Smith and his family. He secretly keeps an alien, marked for death by the CIA, in his house. The alien is named Roger and he is an alcoholic trisexual (He will try anything). 

No that is not my name signed at the bottom. I just steal pictures and use them on my blog all the time.

As you can see he looks like your stereotypical "greys" alien type made popular by Close Encounters of the Third Kind and nutcases who claim to be abducted the world over.  In order to leave the house without being spotted, and thus alerting the CIA, he has to don disguises to go unnoticed.

Clearly the people of the American Dad-verse are very perceptive

For Roger these are not just disguises but entire persona's that he adopts. I can kind of relate to this as I adopt different persona's for about two weeks at a time. Usually the persona I adopt is determined  by the latest movie that I watched.

For instance I watched a movie called Taken starring Liam Neeson. I don't even have say anything else. The fact that the movie stars Liam Neeson you know there will be a lot of ass kicking going on.

According to Janice Dickenson he has a huge penis

It doesn't really matter that he is 59 years old and can probably barely get out of bed without breaking a hip, if he is starring in the movie you know shit is about to get fucked up. In this particular movie he played an ex secret agent man who's daughter is kidnapped in France on vacation by Albanian mobsters and forced into the sex slave business. Of course Liam Neeson will not let anyone but himself defile his daughter so he travels to Europe with nothing more than his formidable sausage between his legs and proceeds to kick everyone's ass. Hell he even shoots an innocent woman in the arm, seriously, because he is that fucking bad ass.

It wasn't a few days after watching that movie that I came home carrying a bunch of folders. Naturally Missy was curious why I was coming home from work with a dozen or so brand new folders with fresh labels on them. As she flipped through them she saw labels like security, intelligence, counter-intelligence, strategic operations, training, and etc. While I am sure she instantly thought I had lost my mind she decided all the same to open the folder saying counter-intelligence.

This is what she found inside the folder. She held up the drawing and looked at me much the way a disappointed mother would look at their child as she asked "counter-intelligence eh?" My head was in the right place though, I wanted to make our home more resistant to break ins and prepare for things in case shit ever hits the fan one day. I was going to install security cameras, do nightly rounds around the yard to make sure things are secure, and reinforce all windows and doors.

Of course before I could complete any of those projects I moved on to my next persona. I started watching a seminar tape staring Dave Tate explaining the Westside Barbell Training Methods. That was it, I decided right then and there I was going to start doing strength and conditioning seminars. I started calling myself Jym Taint, Stength and Conditioning Seminar Man. I made a power point presentation, printed off all kinds of reading material, and even advertised discounts to attend my seminar.

It didn't really matter to me that the only real attendees were my two cats and poor Missy. What mattered was that for those two weeks I was in fact Jym Taint. Of course then I watched the movie 300 and now for the past two weeks I have been a Spartan. I have even been out in my back yard practicing throwing spears and fighting in a phalanx formation. When my neighbor looked over confused I punched him in his ball sac and yelled out "TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!" The police officers who showed up at my house later that evening were forced to refer to me as Spartan and not Jason up until the point they threatened to take me to the nut house and then I let them call me Jason again.

I wonder what I will watch tonight...