Funny Thing From A Weight Training Forum

I posted this on my facebook account a year or so ago. I am re-posting here because it is funny and I am sure many of my current blog readers have not seen it yet.

Alright time for another funny story from a powerlifting forum. For some reason people ask the dumbest shit on internet forums so there is some comedy gold on them. Any ways some kid posts that he is 18 years old and wants to know whats the best steroids to take for powerlifting. Now since he is entirely too young to worry about juicing, I decided to have a little fun with him. Here is my reply..

As best I can remember ... "At your age your test levels are going to be the highest point of your life. Instead of worrying about steroids protein is going to be the key for your biggest growth potentiality. The problem is enzymes in your ...digestive system will generally breakdown most of the important nutrients in protein rendering much of what you take in useless waste. Many different protein blends have been made to counteract this but it was eventually realized among elite athletes and lifters that oral consumption of protein was simply not going to cut it.

To get around the so-called "oral protein" consumption problem some out of the box thinkers devised a new way of getting their protein intake. What you do is mix up your protein drink in the same fashion as you normally would but instead of drinking it, put it into a turkey baster. Lay flat on your stomach and have someone slowly inject it into your rectum. The protein will slowly absorb into your anal cavity in such a way as to maximize its effectiveness. Just be cautious to take it slow when injecting."

Now someone came behind me and instead of laughing he played with what I posted and said something along the lines of "Deadlifter (my name) is on the right track. Anal injections are far superior to normal protein consumption. However a lot... of pro-lifters and bodybuilders have found an even more efficient method so potent many of them are dropping their cycles and just sticking with this.

What you do is you take your protein powder mix it with water or milk and then slowly start adding flax seed until you get a think paste like substance. Once it is thick enough shape it like a banana (or penis if you want to be crude about it ) and then sit the mixture in the freezer for a couple hours until solid. Once it is solid lay face down flat on your stomach and SLOWLY insert it into your anus. Remain in this position as the mixture slowly dissolves into your anal cavity. It is BY FAR the best protein delivery method."



I am still awaiting his progress reports lol.