Enough time has passed that I feel like I can safely tell this story. To be honest it really was never that serious but since police were involved I declined to comment on it. Now enough time has passed that I am sure nothing will come of it so I am going to relay a funny story where it was my bro's and I that were the bad neighbors.
The following incident took place on a blistering hot Sunday that for whatever reason I remember not having to work on Monday. My bro JC was on a three day drunk and in rare form. I can't remember most of the morning because it was uneventful but I do remember him wandering around outside fucking with people. At some point another one of our bro's came over with his old lady and started drinking beers with JC. I was pretty tired so I went back to my place to relax as they started pounding the beers.
I know at one point I left to go to the store and ended up in the middle of a tornado. It was so bad that the local lowes had every one of there pre-fabricated sheds ripped apart and thrown up to 100 feet away. My dumbass had no idea and I was just trucking along in my mustang in the middle of a tornado.
By time I got back JC was out front stumbling around starting shit with anyone who was walking past. Did I forget to mention he only had shorts on and they were unbuttoned. Minor detail that does seem to matter to people. So I did my best to babysit him for a bit and kept him from going to jail as best I could.
It was only fair since I have acted like an ass plenty of times in my past. The thing is, you know how sometimes when people get drunk for a couple days in a row they get that stare like they are looking past you to someone 100 feet behind you, well JC was looking past that guy haha. Yeah it was pretty bad. All the while our other bro, Kenny, was still pounding away beers. I didn't really pay much attention to this as next to JC he did not seem too drunk.
At some point JC's family decide they want to leave town as things got kind of heated and police may or may not have been on the way. I tried to talk JC into going with them but it just didn't seem to work. I know at one point I left him upstairs on his apartment and went back home. Next thing I know there is a knock on my door and it is Kenny telling me that JC's family needed my help. I went over there and found JC in the bathtub with everything in the bathroom knocked everywhere. He was bleeding from his forehead and looked like he was a zombie. I helped him out of the bathtub and into bed and locked his door and went home. As I walked in I said goodbye to Kenny and his old lady as they were going home.
So after one hell of a day (it was now around 6 pm) I finally plopped down on my sofa and started to kick back. Of course that was not going to happen and soon enough I heard the neighbor yelling "you hit my car!!!!" I sprung off my couch assuming that JC was out there punching the neighbors car. Now JC, drunk or not, needs no help in a fight but all the same I was storming out of the door to clean house.
Once I got out the door I realized what I assumed was happening was no where close to what was happening. Kenny had driven his truck over to our places and his old lady cannot drive the truck so Kenny had to drive home. How he managed to do this I don't know, but he backed into the neighbors Geo metro not once, but twice trying to weasel his way out of the parking spot.
Grandma Toothless and Toothlessette were quickly outside yelling at Kenny. To his credit he stopped his truck, opened up the small window on the back of the cab and asked them if he hit their car. They screamed that he had not once but twice backed into it.
Then Kenny said "I guess I did" then drove forward. I assumed he was pulling forward to park and asses the damage. Not so much, he was just pulling off. I stood their jaw to the floor as I watched him take off. Now this is the uncomfortable moment when you really don't know what the fuck to do. Not Megan from the previous story (the one where my wife beat up Megan) was outside and looked at the Geo Metro and correctly pointed out that he didn't even damage the front Lincense plate let alone the car. This started a screaming match between Not Megan and Toothlessette and Mr. Toothless Mullet. I quickly quieted that situation by telling the toothless duo that Not Megan had nothing to do with their car being hit and that they should just do whatever they have to do.
At this point I figured the cops would be here any minute and the last thing I wanted was for JC to stumble out of his place drunk and get arrested. At the same time I felt a wicked deuce coming on so I decided I needed to make a bee line for my apartment to handle my business before the cops arrive. So I got back to my door to find that I had inadvertently locked myself out.
This was fucking great, I was locked out of my place, having to use the bathroom something fierce, knowing that I'd be having to talk to the cops any minute now. So I sit there on my porch for nearly an hour and a half because finally JC wakes up and walks out his door. I go over and talk to him, and he wisely assessed that he needed more beer. Perfect.He did managed to help me to break into my apartment as the windows easily pop out and he was small enough to crawl through the tiny hole.
Three hours passed and I decided that obviously the neighbors were smart enough to realize it was not worth calling the police. So I make a run to the local grocery store to get some supplies. As I pull back on my street I see a couple of cop cars and JC on his porch talking to them. Awesome! So I park my car and try to non-nonchalantly walk to my apartment. Not so fast Jason! JC yells out "hey Jason come here, hey bro do you remember the name of that guy who was drinking with us earlier?"
See here is the deal, you can elect to say nothing to the cops, perfectly with in your rights. But you cannot lie or attempt to mislead the police. This was what I was hoping to avoid. I had to play dumb though and just gave no answer at all to the police. The cop was obviously not buying it, which is understandable since it was the dumbest story I ever heard in my life. Eventually the other cop, a relatively attractive female came over and started talking to us. JC decides this would be a great time to start hitting on her. This went over as well as, well, it just didn't fucking go over well. The cops did their typical threaten us with charging us with Obstruction of Justice and how they are going to give the information to the District Attorney (like some town is going to waste money pursing obstruction charges over a bumped license plate but the cops were just pissed and wanted something to threaten us with).
This caused JC to burst out with "I am not going to dime out my bro's you dumbasses" as which point I grabbed JC and told him to go inside before we both get arrested. The one cop left, the other cop sat across the street for about an hour. I am sure that cop was waiting for JC to leave his porch so he could charge JC with public intoxication but nothing happened then or later.
Friends of mine, next time you hit a neighbors car, stick around lol.
Deadlifter14
I'm a Dork
Monday, October 11, 2010
You swell to a climax
My last neighbor story detailed Definitely-Not Megan and how she got evicted a couple of weeks ago. The first time I remember meeting Definitely-Not Megan was when she got into a yelling match with Mr. Toothless Mullet who lives in between my brother JC and myself.
It is kind of ironic that Mr. Toothless Mullet and the entire litter who lives in the townhouse are now being evicted. Although I detailed some aspects of their household before I will reiterate some things to bring the new readers up to speed.
When I first moved in only one person lived in the townhouse between JC and I. She is an older woman that I will call Grandma Toothless. Apparently she has lived in the unit for over 16 years which is a record considering everyone else stays for roughly 6 months before being evicted or just doing a midnight move out.
A funny thing kind of happened though after a month or two I noticed a guy coming in and out of the unit. He appeared somewhat younger but I just assumed it was one of the spring-fall sort of things. Turns out it was not, he was actually her grown adult son who had to move back in because he found the real world a little to difficult to adjust to. I know what you are thinking, that it is mind boggling how any adult in their late 30s or early 40s could stand living with their parent but he manages to do it in stride.
Apparently this family somewhere down their ancestral line had some Mexican in them because they just started multiplying. What started as one, became two, soon was an entire litter. A couple months after moving in Grandma Toothless, her adult son, her adult daughter, her daughter's boyfriend, and their two kids were now living in this townhouse.
The daughter, who I have referred to as Toothlessette, is kind of dumpy and missing most if not all of her teeth. Her boyfriend (or maybe husband I have no fucking idea nor do I really care) is Mr. Toothless Mullet. I call him that because he in fact does have a mullet and does not have very many if any teeth. This is the guy who spends all day drinking Natural Light or Mad Dog 20/20 and topping that off with a lot of weed.
He also loves riding around on a BMX bike which is not good when you are always fucked up, so he ends up wrecking all the time and more than once he has came home limping and wrapped in bandages. Their kids are weird too, they just stare at you and don't say anything. Probably too much dope was smoked while they were in the womb, who knows, but what I do know is they are fucking strange.
Alright there was a brief recap. Now I am sure you are wondering why the household is being evicted. See we all rent from a family that owns a local hardware store as well as half the town. Apparently prior to moving in with her mom, Toothlessette and Mr. Toothless Mullet rented a place from our landlord at a different location. Since neither one of them work but never hesitate to drink the day away they quickly found that they could not be pestered with silly things like staying up on their rent.
A funny thing happened, after not paying their rent for months they got evicted. I am sure this baffled them how one thing could be related to another, but suffice to say they cut out. I was speaking to one of the maintenance men one day and he saw that they had moved in with her mom. He told me that when they left their prior place they left it in the worst condition he has ever seen in the 10 years of working for our landlord. That says something considering all the deadbeats who have been in and out of these places in that 10 years time. People who get evicted usually leave a fuck storm behind but apparently the Toothless couple took the award for being the worst. Way to go!
Now I kind of wondered to myself, how in the fuck can you completely screw over a landlord, then just pile into another unit owned by the same people. It didn't make any sense to me so I just assumed that the landlord was cutting Grandma Toothless some slack due to how long she has rented from them. Turns out this was pretty far from the truth. The landlord rarely visits these units so they had no idea that all these people had piled into this apartment. Once the landlord was informed they brought down the hammer and gave them their eviction notice. After 16 years Grandma toothless has to pack up and leave because she was dumb enough to let her deadbeat daughter and their fucked up family move in. Serves them right. When you rent from someone else you are using their property, be smart and don't fuck them over otherwise don't bitch when you get caught.
Dumbasses.
It is kind of ironic that Mr. Toothless Mullet and the entire litter who lives in the townhouse are now being evicted. Although I detailed some aspects of their household before I will reiterate some things to bring the new readers up to speed.
When I first moved in only one person lived in the townhouse between JC and I. She is an older woman that I will call Grandma Toothless. Apparently she has lived in the unit for over 16 years which is a record considering everyone else stays for roughly 6 months before being evicted or just doing a midnight move out.
A funny thing kind of happened though after a month or two I noticed a guy coming in and out of the unit. He appeared somewhat younger but I just assumed it was one of the spring-fall sort of things. Turns out it was not, he was actually her grown adult son who had to move back in because he found the real world a little to difficult to adjust to. I know what you are thinking, that it is mind boggling how any adult in their late 30s or early 40s could stand living with their parent but he manages to do it in stride.
Apparently this family somewhere down their ancestral line had some Mexican in them because they just started multiplying. What started as one, became two, soon was an entire litter. A couple months after moving in Grandma Toothless, her adult son, her adult daughter, her daughter's boyfriend, and their two kids were now living in this townhouse.
The daughter, who I have referred to as Toothlessette, is kind of dumpy and missing most if not all of her teeth. Her boyfriend (or maybe husband I have no fucking idea nor do I really care) is Mr. Toothless Mullet. I call him that because he in fact does have a mullet and does not have very many if any teeth. This is the guy who spends all day drinking Natural Light or Mad Dog 20/20 and topping that off with a lot of weed.
He also loves riding around on a BMX bike which is not good when you are always fucked up, so he ends up wrecking all the time and more than once he has came home limping and wrapped in bandages. Their kids are weird too, they just stare at you and don't say anything. Probably too much dope was smoked while they were in the womb, who knows, but what I do know is they are fucking strange.
Alright there was a brief recap. Now I am sure you are wondering why the household is being evicted. See we all rent from a family that owns a local hardware store as well as half the town. Apparently prior to moving in with her mom, Toothlessette and Mr. Toothless Mullet rented a place from our landlord at a different location. Since neither one of them work but never hesitate to drink the day away they quickly found that they could not be pestered with silly things like staying up on their rent.
A funny thing happened, after not paying their rent for months they got evicted. I am sure this baffled them how one thing could be related to another, but suffice to say they cut out. I was speaking to one of the maintenance men one day and he saw that they had moved in with her mom. He told me that when they left their prior place they left it in the worst condition he has ever seen in the 10 years of working for our landlord. That says something considering all the deadbeats who have been in and out of these places in that 10 years time. People who get evicted usually leave a fuck storm behind but apparently the Toothless couple took the award for being the worst. Way to go!
Now I kind of wondered to myself, how in the fuck can you completely screw over a landlord, then just pile into another unit owned by the same people. It didn't make any sense to me so I just assumed that the landlord was cutting Grandma Toothless some slack due to how long she has rented from them. Turns out this was pretty far from the truth. The landlord rarely visits these units so they had no idea that all these people had piled into this apartment. Once the landlord was informed they brought down the hammer and gave them their eviction notice. After 16 years Grandma toothless has to pack up and leave because she was dumb enough to let her deadbeat daughter and their fucked up family move in. Serves them right. When you rent from someone else you are using their property, be smart and don't fuck them over otherwise don't bitch when you get caught.
Dumbasses.
You start with the strings
It has become very clear that the most popular part of this blog is the stories relating to my neighbors. Although my training posts are marginally entertaining to read but even I have to admit that it is really no contest. Re-reading through my posts I laugh my ass off at the stories relating to my neighbors. Each story relives a certain bullshit experience I have had since moving to this blistering fuck storm.
Without further adieu we shall have another neighbor story...
Without further adieu we shall have another neighbor story...
Another Training Update
Did my squat training today. Last weeks squat training went exceptionally well. I decided that since 2 weeks ago I had an issue with my training belt catching my squat briefs in a weird angle and giving myself a slight bikini wax on the right side of my groin (yes it ripped my pubic hair out and caused some bruising), that I would go raw last week (meaning no squat gear and no training belt). I worked up to a heavy triple with my competition stance and depth (I squat very wide for max attempts where as in training I squat with a narrower stance and go very deep). I easily tripled a weight that I had only doubled previously with a belt and briefs on (I'd say belts and briefs probably add about 20-30 pounds to the amount I can lift on squats).
This week I decided to go back to my training squats and went with a belt but no briefs, narrower stance and very deep. Weight felt really good and everything moved fast.
I followed up my squats with some heavy arched back good mornings 4 sets of 10 reps.
I then hit 2 sets of 10 reps on front squats and then 4 sets of 10 reps on leg extensions.
I called it a day at this. Honestly I get the most out of regular squats and heavy good mornings. The other lifts are just filler stuff that would probably be better served doing more squatting and good mornings.
Today was a low carb day so lots of eggs, ground sirloin, some ham steaks, leafy green salads, and broccoli.
Went shopping last night. Always a fun time carting around cans of tuna, cottage cheese, ground sirloin, fish, protein bars, protein shots, powerade zero, greek yogurt, 5 dozen eggs, a few cartons of liquid egg whites, and skim milk. I feel like a creep.
This week I decided to go back to my training squats and went with a belt but no briefs, narrower stance and very deep. Weight felt really good and everything moved fast.
I followed up my squats with some heavy arched back good mornings 4 sets of 10 reps.
I then hit 2 sets of 10 reps on front squats and then 4 sets of 10 reps on leg extensions.
I called it a day at this. Honestly I get the most out of regular squats and heavy good mornings. The other lifts are just filler stuff that would probably be better served doing more squatting and good mornings.
Today was a low carb day so lots of eggs, ground sirloin, some ham steaks, leafy green salads, and broccoli.
Went shopping last night. Always a fun time carting around cans of tuna, cottage cheese, ground sirloin, fish, protein bars, protein shots, powerade zero, greek yogurt, 5 dozen eggs, a few cartons of liquid egg whites, and skim milk. I feel like a creep.
Friday, October 8, 2010
Ads on the side of the page
Hey guess what? I didn't put those ads on the side of the page because I am a firm believer in those products advertised. To be honest I have no say so what so ever on what is advertised. What I did have a say so in was whether they would be there or not. You see they are not automatically added to my page but something I put in because I get paid every time you click on one of the ads. You don't have to buy anything, just clicking on the ads itself = money in my pocket.
But here is the real sad and tragic part of the story. You're not clicking. That's right so far I have had only 2 people click on ads. That's $1.25 I didn't otherwise have, so congratulations at this rate I can afford a protein bar after about a year.
What I am trying to say is click on the ads. Click on every one of the ads. Click on the ads in the morning and click on the ads at night. Click on them when you are sneaking away watching internet porn, click on them when you are shopping for school clothes for your kids. Click on them every moment of every day. Never stop, never give in, and more importantly never cease the clicking. I swear on it right now, if you do not click on all the ads at least once a day I am going to start murdering bunnies. Don't test me, just rest assured I will, and then I will take the audio recording of me slaughtering bunnies and blast that sound right outside your house 24 hours a day until you start clicking those fucking ads.
You've been warned.
--- Edit--- Apparently telling people to click on your ads is against the rules and I was kicked off the program.
But here is the real sad and tragic part of the story. You're not clicking. That's right so far I have had only 2 people click on ads. That's $1.25 I didn't otherwise have, so congratulations at this rate I can afford a protein bar after about a year.
What I am trying to say is click on the ads. Click on every one of the ads. Click on the ads in the morning and click on the ads at night. Click on them when you are sneaking away watching internet porn, click on them when you are shopping for school clothes for your kids. Click on them every moment of every day. Never stop, never give in, and more importantly never cease the clicking. I swear on it right now, if you do not click on all the ads at least once a day I am going to start murdering bunnies. Don't test me, just rest assured I will, and then I will take the audio recording of me slaughtering bunnies and blast that sound right outside your house 24 hours a day until you start clicking those fucking ads.
You've been warned.
--- Edit--- Apparently telling people to click on your ads is against the rules and I was kicked off the program.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
One neighbor bites the dust.
When you live in a neighborhood where you can count the people who actually work on one hand, someone is bound to be evicted before two long. Surely people have been evicted prior to this in the past 8 months we have lived here but this would be the closest person to us. Since she has parted ways I decided to do a mini-profile of her in her memory.
To protect her identity I will refer to her as Definitely-Not Megan. She rented a house directly behind mine. Definitely-Not Megan was rather unremarkable aside from the fact that she was a bit large. Lets just say the term Amazon would describe her quite well. I am 6'3 and around 300 lbs. on a good day and her mass rivaled mine. She wasn't dumpy fat more so just one of those tall and thick women who look like she may have made a great fullback in high school.
I am not sure how long she rented the house behind me. Honestly I never even noticed her until an incident around the beginning of May. It was an unusually hot late spring day when I was sitting on my sofa watching some television. Though I had my t.v. up rather loud, I soon heard the sound of voices screaming at each drowning it out. Since I was bored and rather nosey I decided to peek out my front door. My toothless neighbor (the man) was involved in some dispute with Definitely-Not Megan. Apparently his son (the same one who had the look of utter disappointment when he dad in a drunken stupor wrecked his bicycle and got laid out in the middle of the road) had dragged around Definitely-Not Megan's daughter by the throat.
I guess when you grow up in a house full of freaks that constantly fight over who drank the last of the mad dog 20/20 or who smoked the last maverick cigarette, you tend to develop odd behavior. Toothless was drinking a Natural Light Beer (or as they call em- water) and yelling back and forth with Definitely-Not Megan. She said something about him being drunk all day to which he replied "I work and goddamn right when I got a day off I like to enjoy a beer". That was only half right. He liked to enjoy beer, several of them, all throughout the day, but he hasn't had a a job since they moved in with his wife's mother.
As the argument continued I noticed that tooth-less's equally toothless wife was standing in the door way listening but letting her husband duke it out verbally with Definitely-Not Megan. Though I have heard her get in yelling matches with other neighbors, apparently she wanted nothing from the Amazon. Can't say I blame her, as although she is fat, the Amazon was bigger than her husband.
Insults flew back and forth until Toothless said something to the effect of "Well you're a fucking drug addict. Go do some fucking drugs you loser!" This coming from the same man who smokes pot everyday but I am sure he considers that just a herb not a drug right. Her reply though was classic.
"I don't do drugs I get drug tested every week!!!" The way she said it with such pride made me crack up. She was so proud of the fact that she doesn't do drugs only because she got caught doing drugs and gets drug tested. Way to go Definitely-Not Megan, you have reached that upper level of Piece of Shit that few people can achieve. Mind you, this was all said in front of about 10 kids including their own. I am sure these kids have bright futures of drug addictions, missing teeth, and early pregnancies. I am sure the parents will sit around later in life in some rehab and wonder why their kids ended up so bad.
That pretty much ended the argument and my first meeting of my neighbor Definitely-Not Megan. Now Definitely-Not Megan may or may not be drug tested but she is definitely not drug free. I know this because she traded vodka to neighbors for pain killers. It is a lovely place I live where you can still find street level bartering. No Craigslist or Ebay required!
One day one of my male neighbors decided to get really drunk and somehow ended up behind my place talking with Definitely-Not Megan. Due to the fact that my windows are gloried saran wrap I could hear pretty much the entire conversation. He was drunk and wanting to fuck so he was laying on the "passion" which was pretty much "man I have wanted to fuck you since you moved in." This impassioned speech was enough to sway her his way as her reply was "Wait till my husband goes to sleep he will kill me if he catches us fucking." Classy broad right!
Well the guy ends up passing out drunk before anything could happen. Here is the real scandalous part of it, Definitely-Not Megan is good friends with his girlfriend. Yes she was absolutely willing to fuck him despite the fact that everyday she pals around with his girlfriend. It is not surprising given the mentality of people around here, but I especially felt dirty just even knowing this information. I also knew that things like this never remain a secret and it was only a couple of days later when I heard some screaming outside.
It was my male neighbor's girlfriend, Never Megan, screaming at him. Definitely-Not Megan was standing by her and although I was confused at first I quickly was filled in on what happened. Definitely-Not Megan and Never Megan had been drinking all day when suddenly Definitely-Not Megan decided to tell Never Megan what had happened. However, Definitely-Not Megan left out one key detail, that she was willing to fuck her boyfriend. She only told Never Megan what he said to her, not what she said to him. I was waiting for him to bust her out on this, but for some reason he kept quiet. Never Megan was a rather small girl but bat shit crazy so would of probably thrown down with the Amazon so maybe that is why he kept quiet, I don't know. Either way I found it really ironic that Definitely-Not Megan found a conscience, but only a half-assed conscience. A month later that male neighbor came home and found a power cord running from an outlet in his kitchen to Definitely-Not Megan's house. Her power had been shut off, and Never Megan traded some of their power for vodka. He really appreciated that.
Anyways about a month ago I come home and see that all Definitely-Not Megan's stuff was put out in the back yard. This was rather odd for an eviction as generally they put stuff in the front yard and neighbors get their pick. There were a few things I even considered grabbing until some of my other neighbors decided to use her stuff as a bathroom.
After she moved out another revelation happened. My bro's kids were trying to play with kids who lived one house down from where Definitely-Not Megan used to live. My bro's daughter came back saying the girl couldn't play because her dad was moving out because he had been spending too much time at Definitely-Not Megan's new place. Apparently they were fucking the whole time.
To protect her identity I will refer to her as Definitely-Not Megan. She rented a house directly behind mine. Definitely-Not Megan was rather unremarkable aside from the fact that she was a bit large. Lets just say the term Amazon would describe her quite well. I am 6'3 and around 300 lbs. on a good day and her mass rivaled mine. She wasn't dumpy fat more so just one of those tall and thick women who look like she may have made a great fullback in high school.
I am not sure how long she rented the house behind me. Honestly I never even noticed her until an incident around the beginning of May. It was an unusually hot late spring day when I was sitting on my sofa watching some television. Though I had my t.v. up rather loud, I soon heard the sound of voices screaming at each drowning it out. Since I was bored and rather nosey I decided to peek out my front door. My toothless neighbor (the man) was involved in some dispute with Definitely-Not Megan. Apparently his son (the same one who had the look of utter disappointment when he dad in a drunken stupor wrecked his bicycle and got laid out in the middle of the road) had dragged around Definitely-Not Megan's daughter by the throat.
I guess when you grow up in a house full of freaks that constantly fight over who drank the last of the mad dog 20/20 or who smoked the last maverick cigarette, you tend to develop odd behavior. Toothless was drinking a Natural Light Beer (or as they call em- water) and yelling back and forth with Definitely-Not Megan. She said something about him being drunk all day to which he replied "I work and goddamn right when I got a day off I like to enjoy a beer". That was only half right. He liked to enjoy beer, several of them, all throughout the day, but he hasn't had a a job since they moved in with his wife's mother.
As the argument continued I noticed that tooth-less's equally toothless wife was standing in the door way listening but letting her husband duke it out verbally with Definitely-Not Megan. Though I have heard her get in yelling matches with other neighbors, apparently she wanted nothing from the Amazon. Can't say I blame her, as although she is fat, the Amazon was bigger than her husband.
Insults flew back and forth until Toothless said something to the effect of "Well you're a fucking drug addict. Go do some fucking drugs you loser!" This coming from the same man who smokes pot everyday but I am sure he considers that just a herb not a drug right. Her reply though was classic.
"I don't do drugs I get drug tested every week!!!" The way she said it with such pride made me crack up. She was so proud of the fact that she doesn't do drugs only because she got caught doing drugs and gets drug tested. Way to go Definitely-Not Megan, you have reached that upper level of Piece of Shit that few people can achieve. Mind you, this was all said in front of about 10 kids including their own. I am sure these kids have bright futures of drug addictions, missing teeth, and early pregnancies. I am sure the parents will sit around later in life in some rehab and wonder why their kids ended up so bad.
That pretty much ended the argument and my first meeting of my neighbor Definitely-Not Megan. Now Definitely-Not Megan may or may not be drug tested but she is definitely not drug free. I know this because she traded vodka to neighbors for pain killers. It is a lovely place I live where you can still find street level bartering. No Craigslist or Ebay required!
One day one of my male neighbors decided to get really drunk and somehow ended up behind my place talking with Definitely-Not Megan. Due to the fact that my windows are gloried saran wrap I could hear pretty much the entire conversation. He was drunk and wanting to fuck so he was laying on the "passion" which was pretty much "man I have wanted to fuck you since you moved in." This impassioned speech was enough to sway her his way as her reply was "Wait till my husband goes to sleep he will kill me if he catches us fucking." Classy broad right!
Well the guy ends up passing out drunk before anything could happen. Here is the real scandalous part of it, Definitely-Not Megan is good friends with his girlfriend. Yes she was absolutely willing to fuck him despite the fact that everyday she pals around with his girlfriend. It is not surprising given the mentality of people around here, but I especially felt dirty just even knowing this information. I also knew that things like this never remain a secret and it was only a couple of days later when I heard some screaming outside.
It was my male neighbor's girlfriend, Never Megan, screaming at him. Definitely-Not Megan was standing by her and although I was confused at first I quickly was filled in on what happened. Definitely-Not Megan and Never Megan had been drinking all day when suddenly Definitely-Not Megan decided to tell Never Megan what had happened. However, Definitely-Not Megan left out one key detail, that she was willing to fuck her boyfriend. She only told Never Megan what he said to her, not what she said to him. I was waiting for him to bust her out on this, but for some reason he kept quiet. Never Megan was a rather small girl but bat shit crazy so would of probably thrown down with the Amazon so maybe that is why he kept quiet, I don't know. Either way I found it really ironic that Definitely-Not Megan found a conscience, but only a half-assed conscience. A month later that male neighbor came home and found a power cord running from an outlet in his kitchen to Definitely-Not Megan's house. Her power had been shut off, and Never Megan traded some of their power for vodka. He really appreciated that.
Anyways about a month ago I come home and see that all Definitely-Not Megan's stuff was put out in the back yard. This was rather odd for an eviction as generally they put stuff in the front yard and neighbors get their pick. There were a few things I even considered grabbing until some of my other neighbors decided to use her stuff as a bathroom.
After she moved out another revelation happened. My bro's kids were trying to play with kids who lived one house down from where Definitely-Not Megan used to live. My bro's daughter came back saying the girl couldn't play because her dad was moving out because he had been spending too much time at Definitely-Not Megan's new place. Apparently they were fucking the whole time.
Training Update
Alright so as I said before, training goes well I start to slag off on keeping the blog up to date. Everything is going extremely well, personal records on lifts are falling left and right. Since I am working up to heavier weights I am cutting back on some of the assistance work. Other than that here are some crappy quality photos I took the other day before a shower. These are taken cold (meaning did not lift beforehand to pump up the muscles) and in a mirror with a camera phone so I wasn't joking about the crappy quality. The first one is a shot of my back. Due to crappy resolution of camera phone you cannot see much of the definition. Second one is a front shot with the traps unflexed. Third one is a shot of my left arm flexed. Again low resolution obscures the detail of the bicep and tricep but you can get an overall idea. Fourth shot is another front shot with the traps flexed.
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