Driving Home Last Night

So there I was driving home last night in the pouring rain, no defroster, both windows rolled down as well as all the holes in the roof of the truck. The wind shield kept frosting over to where I couldn't see shit so i had to lean my head out the driver's side window while getting pelted with rain to be able to drive. I am fairly certain this is breaking some kind of work related driving laws.

For the life of god

Someone, anyone, smack me in the head if I ever write a message to someone again while listening to Chris Isaaks Wicked Game. I wasn't even paying attention to the fact that it was playing on the radio and started writing a message and it got all depressing by the end and I wondered what the fuck happened and then realized it's that goddamn Chris Isaak again. Alright I need to something heavy and hard to pump me up, and that is not a homosexual reference.

This Damn Truck

Alright so I am sitting here in my work truck wondering just how much more of a piece of shit this thing could be. Let me give you a bit of history on this thing. First off it is a bucket truck, for those unfamiliar when you see utility workers on the road up in "buckets" working on cable or power lines those are bucket trucks. I can almost assure you though mine is no where as nice as theirs though.

These things get super hot inside of them. Part of the engine sits right under the driver's seat and there is a power inverter between the driver and passenger seat that gets very warm. My A/C went out last year during the hottest part of the summer. My boss refused at the time to pay to have it fixed. I was the only person in our department without air conditioning. No big deal right? Well I checked one time and it was getting about 20 degrees hotter in my cab then the outside temperature on warm sunny days. I would literally sweat so bad just driving between jobs that I had to use old work orders to wipe the sweat from my eyes.

So finally in the middle of the summer they pay to have it fixed. Perfect. Then it goes out again a week later. Not so perfect. Still under warranty, perfect again! The repair shop saying there is no hope for fixing it, not perfect again!

Fast forward a few months. Now nothing works. If I just turn the vent on the engine starts grinding. Don't ask me what the fuck that means. That also means no defrost. Right now I am sitting in a truck with the windows steamed up and no idea how the fuck I am going to drive home. I tried rolling down my windows but it doesn't seem to be helping that much. Maybe if I hold my breath?

This morning another interesting development happened. I was trucking along the freeway to work blasting out whatever shitty band the radio was playing. I forget which but it was a band I heard before. Next thing I hear some poping and cracking and thought "damn this must be a remix." LOL nope that was the engine to my truck. Next thing I know the fucker starts shacking like one of those battery operated boyfriends. Seriously have you ever sat in one of those massage chairs at the mall that vibrates the fuck out of your back, well this is what my truck does.

Now anytime I get to about 50 mph the whole truck just starts violently shaking. Both beacons on top of the arm that lifts my bucket have fallen off (you know they are used to alert people driving at night that you are up in the air and don't hit my truck!). There is so many wholes in the goddamn roof that it is literally flooded in here from the rain we got today. And to add insult to injury it just sprung a leak right above the drivers seat with keeps pelting rain drops on my right shoulder.

I do have some good news though, I just saved a bundle of money switching to Geico.

Alrighty

Chapter 2 is now officially done. The best part is I added a pretty kick ass encounter in it not originally planned. Just started writing about a person they see and took it from there. That is one thing I really love about writing the twists and turns it can take even in your own head.

Also it is amazing how little the story has progressed. Where it is at right now is so far away from where it is going it is not even funny. I am really excited to keep chugging along and getting there though. Next chapter takes us one step closer.

Also I may end up condensing the chapters. The first two are 6 pages each on a standard PDF. Right now I just like writing in those chunks of blocks. Figure out the rest later.

White Trash Mating Call

So after hammering my legs with squats and other painful shit I went to my family room and plopped down on the sofa to catch a re-run of EastBound and Down. As I sat there watching the great Kenny Powers I heard one of my white trash neighbors hitting on some chick. He proceeded to do "wooooh!!" like Ric Flair after everything he said. I joke about Ric Flair quite a bit but this dude was serious. "We should goto **** (couldn't make it out) WoooohhH!!!!" "Girl you are so fine.. woooooh!!". It was great. Just another small example of the weird shit I see on a daily basis.

Seriously I can't even goto the Gas Station

So yesterday I was fighting my way through an uneventful work day when I noticed that my gas gauge was getting near empty. Actually it wasn't near empty I am just a little OCD and since I don't pay for the gas I always try to have at least over half a tank. I headed to a speedway to get some gas.

So there I was pumping some gas when I started hearing this loud belligerent old drunk man. Like a good loud old drunk man he was talking to some teenage girl making her feel like a would be rape victim. He was telling some kind of joke I assume since he was laughing hysterically. She was laughing slightly at his jokes but you could see her discomfort. He then jumped into a big molester looking van and started to back out of a parking space. As he pulled perpendicular to me I noticed the sign on the side of his van advertising the church he worked for. Yes that is right (and oh so typical) this was a church employee drunk as fuck middle of the day hitting on a girl about 40 years his junior at least maybe more. Another funny thing, he was blaring mariachi music while driving off. That just completed the scene. Too bad he didn't also wear a sombrero.

I finished pumping my gas and made my way into the gas stations mini-mart store. Now this is always an interesting moment. Since I have a set work area I tend to always go to this same gas station. For the past year this same girl has worked there. Although she looks normal I really think she is mildly retarded. She always says really inappropriate things to me that I don't know how to respond to. One time I walked in and she was putting out the "speedway pizza" and had a hair net on. She looked at me and said "Does my hairnet make me sexy." and after throwing up a bit in my mouth (not based on her looks but on her child like retard voice) I just kind of half nodded my head and mumbled an indecipherable answer.

I also remember another time I was buying an energy drink and a protein bar and of course she was in there and she was eating while working the register. Shoveling a piece of pizza in her mouth she actually licked her fingers then grabbed my stuff and scanned them. I swear to god I am too damn nice for my own good sometimes. I really just wanted to tell her that she should not lick her fingers before grabbing stuff I place on consuming but instead I just kept mum. I went out to my truck and like a little kid who had someone else play with his toys I threw a fit and threw the stuff away.

So as I walked in yesterday I saw that of course she was working the register along with two other clerks working other registers. I prayed to myself that my place in line would lead to me being served by one of the other two. In fact I even tried to time it so that I would end up with one of them. But as the line then stalled then moved it dawned on me, no matter what happened, I would end up at her register. I don't care if 50 people were there working registers I would get her's. The forces of the universe always line up against me.

Nothing too eventful with this encounter. I was just buying a couple of energy drinks to fuel my trip to the gym later. Just her mere presence is enough to creep me out any more. Perhaps it is the child like voice. There is something disorienting about a normal look person that sounds semi-retarded. Usually they look retarded before even sounding retarded.

As I walked out of the gas station I had an encounter with another retard. There was nothing mild about this retard, yep you guessed it, this one went full retard. She had a handler who was supposed to be watching her but she broke free and started flailing her arms wildly as she ran towards me (well probably towards the door behind me). Nothing beats having a profoundly retarded person doing a windmill of death coming straight for you like a buzz saw.

This wasn't my first go around with this shit though. As I said previously I always attract the weirdo freaks out there no matter what. The only benefit to that is that I know how to deal with them when there is an encounter. So as tardy came storming after me I simply started to move to my right and as she moved to her left to counter I did a reverse spin move and darted to my left getting past her.

Actually she didn't try to counter my move. In fact I looked like an idiot because I did this fancy move thinking i was being attacked by a profoundly retarded girl but in reality she just really wanted in the store. Either way I was a smooth operator. Not really. I am sure people pumping there gas thought I was equally as retarded as her.

So that was my trip to the gas station. Nothing major but simply serves as an example of the kind of weird motherfuckers that gravitate towards me. I think I don't belong in normal society. I am going to go live on a deserted island.

Concept Drawings and Neighbor Update

Concept Drawings-

I am starting to sound like a broken record here but they will have to wait another day. Yesterday the drawings were too light and did not show up well when photographed so I lined them in with a pen today (they were initially done with pencil). I tried to retain as much of the shading as I could. Problem is some dumbass (me) left the digital camera switched on last night so the batteries are dead. So I am recharging them tonight so I can photograph them tomorrow.

Neighbors-

Well eviction day was yesterday and today they are ... wait for it.... wait for it.... wait for it.... still smoking cigarettes and drinking natty light on the porch. They definitely get an "A" for consistency. I am waiting for Not-Megan to get home because she is friends with them so I can find out just what the fuck is going on. Last night I didn't care but I have to admit tonight I am intrigued. I want to know what is going on in their little beer fueled brains.

I am fucking beat but in the morning I have a nice story about a trip to the gas station today. These people were all fucked up....