I started this on facebook and decided to re-post it here. The bodybuilding/powerlifting/fitness scene is to put it mildly, rather bizarre. I have an over abundance of bizarre and just downright funny stories. Here are a few, I will be adding more.
"Actually the gym can be kind of creepy a lot of times. One time early in the morning I walked into the locker room after I was done training and this bodybuilder was standing completely naked in the locker room. No towel in sight, no sign of doing anything other than just standing their naked like a statue. He wasn't even looking in the mirror.
Even creepier EVERYONE of my friends/bro's I told that story to, the first thing they said was "did he have a big penis?""
" No one believed me but I made a conscious effort to not look at his package or lock eyes for that matter. It already seemed like the start to some bad 8mm gay porno film. I wasn't about to give him the wrong idea.
See the thing is the gym I... train at is a very hardcore gym, full of powerlifters, bodybuilders, mma fighters, etc. Not a fitness club. It is an old army hanger, no a/c. etc. etc. So for the most part it is great. But I have had some STRANGE shit happen.
One older creepy guy who i made the mistake of coaching a bit on his squat form started following me around. I trained with a team at the time and everyone else thought it was weird. One time he came up to me, sweating profusely, and said "I don't want to creep you out but can you lift me up and crack my back."
I was really put on the spot. I am not really that mean in real life so I said ok. So there I am, in the middle of the gym, lifting this little old guy up from behind, cracking his back as his sweat goes everywhere, and I swear maybe I was just paranoid but I swear he tried to lean his head back and I just fucking dropped him. It honestly creeped me out bad."
Deadlifter14
I'm a Dork
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Damn Cheap Gym Shorts
Okay, I am somewhat known as a cheap ass. I can't help it. It's odd in that I am really cheap but will then waste my money on dumb little things. Anyways I decided after losing my other gym training clothes set, and working out in the other ones for months on end that I wanted some new training clothes.
So I decided to fetch my club brother Jean Claude who lives beside me and drag him from store to store shopping for gym clothes. Well first I went to a mall a couple blocks away. After a quick stop at the GNC to see all the over priced bullshit the supplement companies are peddling. I mean seriously, for the prices they charge you can get a decent cycle of the real shit that has actually been proven to work. Someday someone needs to reign in on that bullshit.
Alright, where the fuck was I. Okay honestly I just made an excuse to go to the mall so I could check out GNC. It sucks but occasionally you can get some sweat deals on protein powder on clearance. A couple of months back I got two 6 lbs. tubs of ON Vanilla Ice Cream flavored protein powder for 12 dollars. I think they usually go for 70-80 a piece. Sure they were getting ready to expire but that ain't no big deal. I just dusted off the last one about 2 weeks ago. No such luck this time. So I made my way out and skipped checking out any of the sporting apparel shops. No way I am paying bullshit prices for clothes I will be sweating all over and probably covering in blood and fecal matter at some point too.
So for some odd reason we decided to go to the thrift store. Now I might be cheap, but damn those places depress me. Just shopping through the place I see so much shit that I wonder why the fuck did people think others would want this stuff. I mean I saw used underwear for sale. Sorry but spend the extra 5 dollars and buy some fresh pairs. Don't have 5 dollars to spare? Then your ass should be out applying for a job instead of being at the thrift store. I quickly said to hell with this and made my way to the walmart.
Now here is the money. Cheap but new! It just so happened that they had some shorts and shirts made by fruit of the loom on clearance. I am a haines man myself, they make the arms of their shirts tighter which is good when you have big arms you want to show off. If you don't have big arms you want to show off then stop reading this and get your ass to the gym then the buffet. But I am a cheap ass and they were on sale so I went for it. The I bought one black shirt and one green shirt, they felt nice and soft but sturdy which is good. Now the shorts proved to be a sort of problem. I only wanted black shorts but the only sizes they had were mid 50 waist bands. Now I am not some small dude but that is way over even 10 sizes too big... but the cheapness in my head convinced me that since they had a draw string it would be okay.
So I get home and put those beasts on and lo and behold I have to tighten the strings so much that they touch the damn floor and I am 6 foot fucking 3. My cheapness bites me in the ass again. So what they are ridiculously too big, they will work.
And work they did, up until today. You see when you pay 3 dollars for a pair of shorts there is usually a reason. So as I tightened them up today I felt a snap and realized I broke the draw string. Now the drawstring was not in one piece but actually two pieces that were sewn to the middle of the back. So after letting out a few curse words I decided to yank out the other string and slip knotted them together. So there I am fishing a damn drawstring through a pair of 3 dollar shorts for about 30 minutes all to avoid spending another 3 dollars on another pair of shorts...
So I decided to fetch my club brother Jean Claude who lives beside me and drag him from store to store shopping for gym clothes. Well first I went to a mall a couple blocks away. After a quick stop at the GNC to see all the over priced bullshit the supplement companies are peddling. I mean seriously, for the prices they charge you can get a decent cycle of the real shit that has actually been proven to work. Someday someone needs to reign in on that bullshit.
Alright, where the fuck was I. Okay honestly I just made an excuse to go to the mall so I could check out GNC. It sucks but occasionally you can get some sweat deals on protein powder on clearance. A couple of months back I got two 6 lbs. tubs of ON Vanilla Ice Cream flavored protein powder for 12 dollars. I think they usually go for 70-80 a piece. Sure they were getting ready to expire but that ain't no big deal. I just dusted off the last one about 2 weeks ago. No such luck this time. So I made my way out and skipped checking out any of the sporting apparel shops. No way I am paying bullshit prices for clothes I will be sweating all over and probably covering in blood and fecal matter at some point too.
So for some odd reason we decided to go to the thrift store. Now I might be cheap, but damn those places depress me. Just shopping through the place I see so much shit that I wonder why the fuck did people think others would want this stuff. I mean I saw used underwear for sale. Sorry but spend the extra 5 dollars and buy some fresh pairs. Don't have 5 dollars to spare? Then your ass should be out applying for a job instead of being at the thrift store. I quickly said to hell with this and made my way to the walmart.
Now here is the money. Cheap but new! It just so happened that they had some shorts and shirts made by fruit of the loom on clearance. I am a haines man myself, they make the arms of their shirts tighter which is good when you have big arms you want to show off. If you don't have big arms you want to show off then stop reading this and get your ass to the gym then the buffet. But I am a cheap ass and they were on sale so I went for it. The I bought one black shirt and one green shirt, they felt nice and soft but sturdy which is good. Now the shorts proved to be a sort of problem. I only wanted black shorts but the only sizes they had were mid 50 waist bands. Now I am not some small dude but that is way over even 10 sizes too big... but the cheapness in my head convinced me that since they had a draw string it would be okay.
So I get home and put those beasts on and lo and behold I have to tighten the strings so much that they touch the damn floor and I am 6 foot fucking 3. My cheapness bites me in the ass again. So what they are ridiculously too big, they will work.
And work they did, up until today. You see when you pay 3 dollars for a pair of shorts there is usually a reason. So as I tightened them up today I felt a snap and realized I broke the draw string. Now the drawstring was not in one piece but actually two pieces that were sewn to the middle of the back. So after letting out a few curse words I decided to yank out the other string and slip knotted them together. So there I am fishing a damn drawstring through a pair of 3 dollar shorts for about 30 minutes all to avoid spending another 3 dollars on another pair of shorts...
Log For Today, Mon, and Sun.
I am just going to start with this week. The actually cycle began a couple weeks ago (with some off season before that).
Sun- (Sorry didn't start recording my diet till monday)
Light Bench Day
Illegally wide grip Bench Press - 5 warm up sets and two work sets of 10 and 15 reps.
Dumbell Flyes 2 sets of 14 and 12 reps
JM Press 2 sets of 12 reps
Dumbell Tricep Ext- 1 set of 4 reps-- see below
Tricep Press downs 3 sets of 10 reps down and 10 reps overhead
supersetted with
3 sets of 21s with dumbells
1 set of overhead dumbell ext 10 reps
super setted with 1 set of hammer curls
Even though I am still oncall I did my regular workout but went a bit lighter and did more reps this time (except for my first lift which I still went higher reps but used same weight). I think during the jm press I aggrevated my left elbow because as I started doing the laying down tricep extensions my left elbow felt alot of pressure so i stopped doing them rather than pushing through and fucking up my elbow. In its place I added a set of overhead ext. at the end of the workout.
Some great pumps today.
Mon- Squat Day
Meal 1 - 5:30 am 9 egg whites scrambled. 1/4 cup instant grits. mixed together with some fat freeze cheese sprinkle flavoring (I think like 5 calories for a serving). One scoop protein powder mixed in water. Morning coffee. 2 fish oil tabs, one multi-vitamin multi-mineral tab,
Meal 2 - 8:30-9 am range. 2 scoops protein powder mixed in water.
Meal 3 - 11:30-12 range. 2 large ham steaks. One serving of baby carrots. 2 slices of 100% whole wheat bread.
Meal 4 - 3-3:30 range. One peanut butter crunch supreme protein bar. One scoop protein powder in water.
5:00 pm Pre-workout creatine drink (33g of carbs), small cup of coffee
5:30 Mon- Squat Day
6 warm up sets ramping up 2 work sets of 8 reps each
this was 10 more pounds than previous week, added a belt.
arched back good mornings 2 sets of 8 reps same weight as squats
leg ext- 3 sets of 15 reps
one leg curl 2 sets of 10 reps
Banded leg curls 3 sets of 20
calf raises 3 sets of 20 reps
ab pulldowns 3 sets of 20 reps
These were down as a tri-set with no rest between each exercise.
during workout - one gatorade g2 drink
post workout meal
8 oz. ground beef, 2 slices of wheat bread ~ 7:30-8:00
Last meal of day 10 pm - one can light tuna in water- plain
2 fish oil tabs, one melatonin.
total for today 2,839 calories
327 g of protein 48%
189 g of carbs 27%
80 g of fat 26%
Tues- non- lifting day
Okay my plan was to wake up at 5 am and do 20 minutes of cardio first thing in the morning. After my squat workout last night though I was so tired I ended up falling asleep on the couch and didn't wake up until 6:30. So i had to rush around get in my breakfast and get out the door to work.
Meal 1 6:30 12 large eggs, 10 egg whites only, 2 whole eggs. 1/4 cup of grits.
Meal 2 9:30 2 scoops of protein powder, 1 cup of oatmeal blended together with 1 cup of skim milk.
Meal 3 12:30- 8 oz. of ground beef, 1/2 cup of oatmeal, small handful of blueberries, 1 cup of mixed vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots).
Meal 4 3:30 - 2 scoops protein powder mixed with water
Meal 5 6:30 - 10 oz. skinless boneless chicken breast. 2 slices of whole wheat bread, 1 cup of mixed vegetables.
Meal 6 9:30- one can of tuna,
2910 total calories
347g of protein 50%
204g of carbs 25%
78g of fat 24%
Edit-- Okay well I was wrong I am having pork loin chops for dinner not chicken breast. Requires a bit of rearranging for slightly different macro-nutrient breakdown.
now it is 2852 calories
318 g of protein
204 carb
and 90g of fat.
After work I did some cardio work.
21 minutes of the heavy bag, non stop always throwing punches no breaks. This was simply for cardio as I am limited in cardio stuff here at my place.
12.5 minutes of stair climbing. No machine, done the old fashion way on stairs.
My plan was 20 minutes morning, 20 evening on tues. and 20 minute morning on friday. Eventually working up to 40 minute sessions in morning. Of course I had to improvise today due to waking up late.
Also Note my wording my sound strange as I type these up throughout the day while at work.
Sun- (Sorry didn't start recording my diet till monday)
Light Bench Day
Illegally wide grip Bench Press - 5 warm up sets and two work sets of 10 and 15 reps.
Dumbell Flyes 2 sets of 14 and 12 reps
JM Press 2 sets of 12 reps
Dumbell Tricep Ext- 1 set of 4 reps-- see below
Tricep Press downs 3 sets of 10 reps down and 10 reps overhead
supersetted with
3 sets of 21s with dumbells
1 set of overhead dumbell ext 10 reps
super setted with 1 set of hammer curls
Even though I am still oncall I did my regular workout but went a bit lighter and did more reps this time (except for my first lift which I still went higher reps but used same weight). I think during the jm press I aggrevated my left elbow because as I started doing the laying down tricep extensions my left elbow felt alot of pressure so i stopped doing them rather than pushing through and fucking up my elbow. In its place I added a set of overhead ext. at the end of the workout.
Some great pumps today.
Mon- Squat Day
Meal 1 - 5:30 am 9 egg whites scrambled. 1/4 cup instant grits. mixed together with some fat freeze cheese sprinkle flavoring (I think like 5 calories for a serving). One scoop protein powder mixed in water. Morning coffee. 2 fish oil tabs, one multi-vitamin multi-mineral tab,
Meal 2 - 8:30-9 am range. 2 scoops protein powder mixed in water.
Meal 3 - 11:30-12 range. 2 large ham steaks. One serving of baby carrots. 2 slices of 100% whole wheat bread.
Meal 4 - 3-3:30 range. One peanut butter crunch supreme protein bar. One scoop protein powder in water.
5:00 pm Pre-workout creatine drink (33g of carbs), small cup of coffee
5:30 Mon- Squat Day
6 warm up sets ramping up 2 work sets of 8 reps each
this was 10 more pounds than previous week, added a belt.
arched back good mornings 2 sets of 8 reps same weight as squats
leg ext- 3 sets of 15 reps
one leg curl 2 sets of 10 reps
Banded leg curls 3 sets of 20
calf raises 3 sets of 20 reps
ab pulldowns 3 sets of 20 reps
These were down as a tri-set with no rest between each exercise.
during workout - one gatorade g2 drink
post workout meal
8 oz. ground beef, 2 slices of wheat bread ~ 7:30-8:00
Last meal of day 10 pm - one can light tuna in water- plain
2 fish oil tabs, one melatonin.
total for today 2,839 calories
327 g of protein 48%
189 g of carbs 27%
80 g of fat 26%
Tues- non- lifting day
Okay my plan was to wake up at 5 am and do 20 minutes of cardio first thing in the morning. After my squat workout last night though I was so tired I ended up falling asleep on the couch and didn't wake up until 6:30. So i had to rush around get in my breakfast and get out the door to work.
Meal 1 6:30 12 large eggs, 10 egg whites only, 2 whole eggs. 1/4 cup of grits.
Meal 2 9:30 2 scoops of protein powder, 1 cup of oatmeal blended together with 1 cup of skim milk.
Meal 3 12:30- 8 oz. of ground beef, 1/2 cup of oatmeal, small handful of blueberries, 1 cup of mixed vegetables (broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots).
Meal 4 3:30 - 2 scoops protein powder mixed with water
Meal 5 6:30 - 10 oz. skinless boneless chicken breast. 2 slices of whole wheat bread, 1 cup of mixed vegetables.
Meal 6 9:30- one can of tuna,
2910 total calories
347g of protein 50%
204g of carbs 25%
78g of fat 24%
Edit-- Okay well I was wrong I am having pork loin chops for dinner not chicken breast. Requires a bit of rearranging for slightly different macro-nutrient breakdown.
now it is 2852 calories
318 g of protein
204 carb
and 90g of fat.
After work I did some cardio work.
21 minutes of the heavy bag, non stop always throwing punches no breaks. This was simply for cardio as I am limited in cardio stuff here at my place.
12.5 minutes of stair climbing. No machine, done the old fashion way on stairs.
My plan was 20 minutes morning, 20 evening on tues. and 20 minute morning on friday. Eventually working up to 40 minute sessions in morning. Of course I had to improvise today due to waking up late.
Also Note my wording my sound strange as I type these up throughout the day while at work.
Typical Routine
This is my basic routine. Nothing fancy like before, just old school power based. Got this from Ed Coan, the greatest powerlifter of all time. The following table is just the working sets of the main lift.
Week 1- 2 sets of 10 reps * 50%
Week 2- 2 sets of 10 reps * add 5-10 lbs
Week 3- 2 sets of 8 reps ** 60%
Week 4 – 2 sets of 8 reps** add 5-10 lbs.
Week 5- 2 sets of 5 reps ** add 5-10 lbs.
Week 6- 2 sets of 5 reps *** add 5-10 lbs.
Week 7- 2 sets of 3 reps *** 70%
Week 8 – 2 sets of 3 reps ***
Week 9 – 2 sets of 3 reps ***
Week 10 – 2 sets of 2 reps *** 80%
Week 11- 2 sets of 2 reps ****
Week 12- 2 sets of 2 reps ****
Week 13- 1 sets of 1 rep*** 85-90%
Week 14- 1 set of 1 rep *****
the * is relative to squat gear as this was for the squat day. The percentages are just as a semi reference. The basic idea is week 1 of 2 sets of 10 should be a weight you can definitely get with some struggle where as week 2 should be a very difficult weight. These are only work sets before those you warm up with 5-7 sets.
Mon= squat training
tues= off
wed= heavy bench day
thurs= deadlift training
fri= off
sat= press behind neck and shoulder day
sun= light benching and chest and tris and bi's
Let me clarify by saying I made up the percentages off the top my head. I know what weight to use and use it, and just throw some numbers for reference.
Week 1- 2 sets of 10 reps * 50%
Week 2- 2 sets of 10 reps * add 5-10 lbs
Week 3- 2 sets of 8 reps ** 60%
Week 4 – 2 sets of 8 reps** add 5-10 lbs.
Week 5- 2 sets of 5 reps ** add 5-10 lbs.
Week 6- 2 sets of 5 reps *** add 5-10 lbs.
Week 7- 2 sets of 3 reps *** 70%
Week 8 – 2 sets of 3 reps ***
Week 9 – 2 sets of 3 reps ***
Week 10 – 2 sets of 2 reps *** 80%
Week 11- 2 sets of 2 reps ****
Week 12- 2 sets of 2 reps ****
Week 13- 1 sets of 1 rep*** 85-90%
Week 14- 1 set of 1 rep *****
the * is relative to squat gear as this was for the squat day. The percentages are just as a semi reference. The basic idea is week 1 of 2 sets of 10 should be a weight you can definitely get with some struggle where as week 2 should be a very difficult weight. These are only work sets before those you warm up with 5-7 sets.
Mon= squat training
tues= off
wed= heavy bench day
thurs= deadlift training
fri= off
sat= press behind neck and shoulder day
sun= light benching and chest and tris and bi's
Let me clarify by saying I made up the percentages off the top my head. I know what weight to use and use it, and just throw some numbers for reference.
New to this crap
Never had a blog before. Always thought they were pretty gay but oh well. I am using this thing to log my daily training routine, diet, and funny shit I decide to post up. I don't really give a drunk midgets ass if people read it or not, I just like to hear (or in this case see) myself talk.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)